I’m still not the biggest fan of the shroom, but the zesty aroma will make them hard to refuse. A definite must-bring to any pot-luck party. Just make sure your host has available oven space to cook them just before putting them out. (Geez, I sound like Martha Stewart! I’m tossing that powder blue oven mitt the minute I get home!)

Stuffed Mushrooms from Half Hour Meals

1 package of large white mushrooms (about 10)
8 oz. cream cheese
6 strips of bacon (cooked and crumbled)
1 tbsp. worcestershire sauce
2 tbsp. parmesan cheese (separated)
Preheat your oven to 400F. Wipe all your mushrooms off with a damp paper towel to remove all dirt. DON’T RINSE THEM or they’ll absorb all the water and blow up to something you could attach to a rope and parade down Central Park West on Thanksgiving morning.

Carefully pull out each stump so there is a hole in each mushroom to stuff. Discard the stumps. If one breaks off, you can use a spoon to scrape it out of the inside of the hole.

In a large bowl, add your cream cheese and stick in the microwave for 30 seconds to 1 minute to soften. Take your precooked, crumbled bacon and add to the cream cheese. Stir and add your Worcestershire sauce as well. Mix all ingredients vigorously until fully combined. Take a spoonful of the mixture and fill each mushroom cap. You can fill each cap pretty generously as long as it does not fall down the side of the mushroom.

Place your mushrooms, filling side up, in a greased baking pan. Place into the oven and cook for about 15-25 minutes, ovens will vary. The last 5 minutes pull the pan out of the oven and top with grated parmesan cheese. You can tell that they are done when the mushrooms are dark in color and slightly mushy to the touch. The filling should be slightly browned on top.

Remove from heat and allow to cool for a few minutes. The filling will be extremely hot! If you have any filling leftover, I recommend hanging on to is and using as as a bagel or sandwich spread. You will not be disappointed.

Here’s a simple twist on the recipe for crab puffs I posted a while back to accomodate those heathens who dislike crab. There were more of them out there then I originally realized – my mother and father being two of them – so out with the crustacea and in with a hot and zesty one-two punch of prosciutto and serrano pepper that’ll keep these babies flying into your mouth faster than you can keep count. And being as light and mouth-watering as they are, you won’t want to keep count.

Serrano is Spanish for “from the mountains.” The peppers were reportedly first cultivated in the mountain regions of Puebla and Hidalgo, Mexico. They are generally the hottest peppers commonly found in U.S. grocery stores, and are 5 to 10 times hotter than jalapenos. Their thin skin and meatiness makes pre-prep nearly non-existent. I simply mince a few up and toss them into everything – tacos, tuna salads, ground beef, chicken, sandwiches, eggs and pizza toppings. They’re bountiful and inexpensive, but if you’re not a fan of chile pepper heat, just omit them from the recipe. The prosciutto itself brings more than enough flavor to satisfy just about anyone.

• 1 cup water
• 6 tablespoons butter
• 1/8 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 5 eggs
• 3/4 finely chopped prosciutto or fully cooked ham
• 2 serrano peppers, minced
• 1/4 cup minced chives

In a large saucepan, bring the water, butter and pepper to a boil.  Add in the flour ALL AT ONCE and CONTINUE TO STIR until it begins to come together into a sticky substance with a “Play-Doh” consistency. Remove from the heat and let stand for about five minutes

Add eggs, one at a time, blending well after each addition.  Continue beating until the mixture becomes smooth and shiny.  Stir in the prosciutto, serrano peppers and chives. Mix thoroughly.

Lay out on greased baking sheets in heaping teaspoons.  Cook for approximately 19-22 minutes, but check frequently, and once they turn golden brown, remove them.  Let cool for about 5 minutes, then serve warm.  Refrigerate leftovers and re-heat at 350 for about 10 minutes  (though they go down almost as well cold, trust me).

Once you start showing off what you’ve managed to learn to make in the kitchen (say, on a blog for example), you have to take a certain level of responsiblity when friends and family start making certain food assumptions about what you’ll prepare for them when you invite them over. I became accutely aware of that fact earlier this week when my friend Travis asked what I was going to be serving at my weekly LOST viewing party and dinner:

Travis: “What are you making tonight, Gary?”
Me: “I’m making this amazing jalapeno popper mac and cheese.”
Travis:  “Cool… what else?”
Me:  “What do you mean what else?”
Travis:  “I mean… what else are you making to go with it?  And what, no dessert?”

I guess my days of gliding by with spaghetti and meatballs served on plastic plates I stole from my college dining commons are over, but I’ll happily leave that era in my past. MG often reminds me of my typical day’s food rundown from our first year or so of dating. I don’t recall, but apparently I lived exclusively on Hot Pockets, McDonalds and Tombstone frozen pizzas. I’m guessing MG is happy I’ve left those days behind as well.

On to the mad mac and cheese recipe I found over at Let’s Cook.

It’s not going to win any awards for keeping your arteries shiny and clear, and it may cause your eyes to spontaneously cross every few bites, but it is deadly satisfying in the way really bad Catholic sins are satisfying. And don’t worry about preparing anything else to go alongside it. Trust me, it is not necessary. This meal is covered in cheese, and since the cheese stands alone, this meal does as well.

Jalapeño Popper Mac and Cheese from Let’s Cook Adapted from Rachael Ray

• 16 ounces dry pasta (cavatappi was listed in the recipe, but I used mostaccioli – just make sure it’s hollow)
• 2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil
• 3 jalapeño chiles, seeded, ribs removed and thinly sliced
• 2 serrano chiles, seeded, ribs removed and thinly sliced
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 1/2 cups milk
• 8 ounces cream cheese, sliced into cubes
• 2 tablespoons dried minced onion
• 8 ounces (about 2 cups) shredded Mexican-blend cheese

In a large pot of boiling, salted water, add pasta and cook according to package directions. Drain and place back into the pot off heat.

Meanwhile, in a medium saucepan, heat oil over medium. Stir in jalapeños, serranos and garlic – cook until tender, about 5 minutes. Add to the pot with the drained pasta.

Preheat the broiler.

In the same saucepan, add milk, cream cheese and onion – heat over medium-low, stirring, until very smooth, about 5 minutes. Pour in to the pot with the pasta and add the cheese – season with salt and fresh ground black pepper, tossing well to coat. Scoop mixture into a casserole dish coated with cooking spray. Place under the broiler and bake until lightly browned on top, about 3 to 5 minutes.

There’s some serious cheese going on here, folks.  You need to be warned… I mean truly warned.  Take a good look at the photo below and ask yourself, “Do I have the fortitude to take on this recipe?”  All of the cheese in the photo below was grated  and melted into a mere 12 ounces of penne rigate to create the finished product.  You’ve been told.

And it doesn’t stop there.  There’s also butter!  There’s also bacon!  There’s also the fat from the bacon! There’s also white flour.  There’s also fresh sage, parsley, oregano and rosemary.  Some of that counts as vegetables, right?

Am I leaving anything out.  Oh yeah!  I accidentally doubled the amount of butter required by the recipe.  Oops!  I swear, it was unintentional.  And guess what, it totally didn’t ruin the meal!  Who’d have thought it?

I started preparing this at about 8:00 in the evening.  I started eating it at about 9.  By about 10, I was speaking in tongues and levitating three feet off the floor

The recipe can be found at StephenCooks.com, so send your thank you cards and/or the pants you are about to no longer be able to fit into his direction, not mine.  I didn’t come up with this.  I merely used it on a lonely Wednesday night to fill a hole in my heart.  Cheese is really the best way to overcome such things, don’t you think?

So take a read below for how to get ‘er done, and then head to the store for the ingredients you’re missing, because if you have this much cheese just sitting around your house already, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be spending your time reading blog posts.

I will leave the cheeses Stephen used in the recipe below and let you know my substitutions next to them.

Herby Macaroni and Three Cheeses

Serves 6 – 8.

• 6 oz Taleggio cheese, shredded (I subbed in 6 oz of Boar’s Head Muenster)
• 6 oz sharp imported Provolone cheese, shredded (I subbed in 4 oz of Boar’s Head Horseradish Cheddar along with 4 oz. mozzarella)
• 4 oz Parmeggiano Reggiano, shredded
• 2 tbsp fresh sage, minced
• 3 tbsp fresh rosemary, minced
• 4 tbsp fresh parsley, minced
• 2 tbsp fresh oregano, minced
• 4 strips thick cut bacon (about 4 oz)
• 2 cups milk
• 2 tbsp butter
• 3 tbsp flour
• 2 tsp mustard powder
• 1 tsp salt
• 12 oz elbow macaroni or penne rigate
• hot sauce (I used Day of the Dead habanero)

Toss the shredded cheeses and add the herbs until well-mixed. Divide the mixture into two bowls, with approximately 10 ounces of the mixture in one bowl and the remainder in the other.

Cook the bacon.  Drain on paper towel and chop.

Warm the milk in a small saucepan.

Pour all but 2 tablespoons of the bacon fat from the sauté pan. Add the butter to the sauté pan and melt over medium-high heat. When the foaming subsides, scatter in the flour and cook, stirring constantly, about 3 minutes. If you really want to take it over the top, add the unused bacon fat into the warming milk and stir well.

Pour in the milk and cook, stirring, until the sauce is smooth and thick. Mix in the separated 10 ounces of cheese, one handful at a time, stirring t0 melt before adding the next handful.

Cook and stir until smooth. Add the salt and dry mustard and stir to mix.

Add hot sauce to taste and correct seasoning.I probably worked in about 1 half tablespoon total, but could have taken it a little further without it overpowering the finished flavor.

Cook the pasta just beyond al dente and drain. Add the chopped bacon to the cheese sauce and mix the sauce with the macaroni. Pour into a buttered casserole or baking dish. Scatter the remaining cheese/herb mixture over the macaroni and bake in a preheated 425º oven about 20-25 minutes (keep a good eye on it).

Finish the dish in the broiler for 2-3 minutes (again, keep a good eye on it).  When the top is your desired degree of browned and crispy, remove from the oven and let cool for approximately 5 minutes before serving.

There’s some serious cheese going on here, folks.  You need to be warned… I mean truly warned.  Take a good look at the photo below and ask yourself, “Do I have the fortitude to take on this recipe?”  All of the cheese in the photo below was grated  and melted into a mere 12 ounces of penne rigate to create the finished product.  You’ve been told.
And it doesn’t stop there.  There’s also butter!  There’s also bacon!  There’s also the fat from the bacon! There’s also white flour.  There’s also fresh sage, parsley, oregano and rosemary.  Some of that counts as vegetables, right?

Am I leaving anything out.  Oh yeah!  I accidentally doubled the amount of butter required by the recipe.  Oops!  I swear, it was unintentional.  And guess what, it totally didn’t ruin the meal!  Who’d have thought it?

I started preparing this at about 8:00 in the evening.  I started eating it at about 9.  By about 10, I was speaking in tongues and levitating three feet off the floor

The recipe can be found at StephenCooks.com, so send your thank you cards and/or the pants you are about to no longer be able to fit into his direction, not mine.  I didn’t come up with this.  I merely used it on a lonely Wednesday night to fill a hole in my heart.  Cheese is really the best way to overcome such things, don’t you think?

So take a read below for how to get ‘er done, and then head to the store for the ingredients you’re missing, because if you have this much cheese just sitting around your house already, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be spending your time reading blog posts.

I will leave the cheeses Stephen used in the recipe below and let you know my substitutions next to them.

Herby Macaroni and Three Cheeses

Serves 6 – 8.

• 6 oz Taleggio cheese, shredded (I subbed in 6 oz of Boar’s Head Muenster)
• 6 oz sharp imported Provolone cheese, shredded (I subbed in 4 oz of Boar’s Head Horseradish Cheddar along with 4 oz. mozzarella)
• 4 oz Parmeggiano Reggiano, shredded
• 2 tbsp fresh sage, minced
• 3 tbsp fresh rosemary, minced
• 4 tbsp fresh parsley, minced
• 2 tbsp fresh oregano, minced
• 4 strips thick cut bacon (about 4 oz)
• 2 cups milk
• 2 tbsp butter
• 3 tbsp flour
• 2 tsp mustard powder
• 1 tsp salt
• 12 oz elbow macaroni or penne rigate
• hot sauce (I used Day of the Dead habanero)

Toss the shredded cheeses and add the herbs until well-mixed. Divide the mixture into two bowls, with approximately 10 ounces of the mixture in one bowl and the remainder in the other.

Cook the bacon.  Drain on paper towel and chop.

Warm the milk in a small saucepan.

Pour all but 2 tablespoons of the bacon fat from the sauté pan. Add the butter to the sauté pan and melt over medium-high heat. When the foaming subsides, scatter in the flour and cook, stirring constantly, about 3 minutes. If you really want to take it over the top, add the unused bacon fat into the warming milk and stir well.

Pour in the milk and cook, stirring, until the sauce is smooth and thick. Mix in the separated 10 ounces of cheese, one handful at a time, stirring t0 melt before adding the next handful.

Cook and stir until smooth. Add the salt and dry mustard and stir to mix.

Add hot sauce to taste and correct seasoning.I probably worked in about 1 half tablespoon total, but could have taken it a little further without it overpowering the finished flavor.

Cook the pasta just beyond al dente and drain. Add the chopped bacon to the cheese sauce and mix the sauce with the macaroni. Pour into a buttered casserole or baking dish. Scatter the remaining cheese/herb mixture over the macaroni and bake in a preheated 425º oven about 20-25 minutes (keep a good eye on it).

Finish the dish in the broiler for 2-3 minutes (again, keep a good eye on it).  When the top is your desired degree of browned and crispy, remove from the oven and let cool for approximately 5 minutes before serving.

This is an improvement over what I did in my twenties when I was depressed, which was smoke grass, drink martinis and watch television until I either fell asleep or threw up.

Ah, the glamour of the twenties!

So I don’t plan too many structured events on the weekends anymore because they’ve become mostly about me and MG making fattening breakfasts, having coffee at The Big Fixx on Sunset (formerly Abbot’s Habit), watching television together and seeing who can win in the categories of “Snarkiest Comment,” “Best Impression of a Loser Celebrity.” and “Most Accurate Representation of What the Cat in the Cat Food Commercial would Sound Like if It Could Speak Human.”

Then we separate for a few hours in the middle of the day so he can get some work done, I’ll get together everything I need to make the night’s dinner, and we reconvene for more television, snarky comments and cocktails.

But none of that happened this past weekend, and by noon on Saturday I’d done all my grocery shopping, all my laundry, hit the post office and the dry cleaner, worked out, erased said workout by stopping at Carl’s Jr., tried to get my cat to eat a french fry and took a nap.

I had absolutely nothing else on my “to do” list for the entire weekend, so of course I spent it in the kitchen, making this meal, along with some other goodies that are being banked away for later postings. But MG wasn’t there to admire my kitchen technique, or rave about the finished meal after snaring his usual lion-sized portion, so it wasn’t nearly as gratifying and I have WAY TOO MUCH left over.

With each passing kitchen attempt I’m becoming more and more fascinated with perfecting the process than I am with actually feasting on the finished result. I’d much prefer to give the food itself over to someone else for them to enjoy, and just stay in the kitchen and tackle the next recipe on my long long list. Anyone else feel that way?

Farfalle with Sage, Peas and Bacon

• 14 ounces farfalle pasta
• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• 8 slices streaky bacon, chopped
• 1 garlic clove, finely chopped
• 1 cup heavy cream
• 5 ounces peas, thawed if frozen
• 2 1/2 ounces parmesan cheese, freshly grated, plus extra to sprinkle
• 1 small handful sage leaf, and flat-leaf parsley leaves

Bring a pot of salted water to the boil. Add in the farfalle and cook according to packet instructions until the pasta is al dente

Heat the oil in another pan and add the bacon. Fry over high heat for 3 – 4 minutes until the bacon is golden brown.

Add the garlic and fry for a minute. Pour in the cream and bring to the boil. Let simmer for 5 minutes until reduced and thickened slightly.

Tip in the peas, bring back to a simmer and cook for another 3- 4 minutes. Stir the grated parmesan into the sauce, then taste and adjust the seasoning.

When the pasta is ready, drain it in a colander and immediately add it into the sauce.
Add the herbs, then toss the pasta until well coated with the creamy sauce.

Divide among warm plates and sprinkle over a little more parmesan to serve.

Feel better, MG!