Season Pass: Modern Family (ABC)

The irritating tween in question is Alex, and she’s played by an actress named Ariel Winter, who is no doubt praying Modern Family runs at least three seasons so she’s given the opportunity to grow herself out of the dowdy flat hair and Rachel Maddow eyewear the producers have saddled around her yet-to-ripen little head. Alex is accidentally shot in the arm with a plastic beebee at the hands of her younger brother, Luke, a moppet with rampant Medusa hair who is still naive enough to repeatedly jam his head between the bannister rails because he’s sure that this time he’ll be able to pull it back out.

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