Food Network Star Recap: July 1, 2012

9:15 pm – Michele complains that she rambles too much and is worried she’ll go over, but instead goes five seconds short. If I were Michele, I would have used that time to re-assure the home audience that the giant knife tattoo on my leg was not a trophy tattoo from that time I stabbed a newbie to death on Cellbock H.

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Food Network Star Recap: June 24, 2012

What exactly it is about 1950s that Emily finds so damn appealing has been, up to this point in the show, an absolute mystery. I certainly can’t figure out why anyone would want to celebrate this decade: babies sucked on lead pacifiers, minorities were bound by segregation, women couldn’t wear pants, kids were taught to scurry under their desks in the event of nuclear attack, and what escapist entertainment was waiting for us down at the movie house? That’s right. I’d like two tickets for Francis the Talking Mule, please!

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Food Network Star Recap: June 17, 2012

Did any of you think we’d be this far into the competition and still have Little Linkie to kick around?

Don’t get me wrong, as a re-capper of Food Network Star, I’m pleased as punch that she’s still with us. The woman is comedy gold. Did you see the hysterically frightened and confused look she gave when Giada asked her if she knew how to make a churro? It’s the same look you get from a collie when you light a match in its face.

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