Before we get into tonight’s Celebrity Apprentice… I have to say, DAMN PHOEBE CATES! Looking good!
Phoebe showed up with her husband, Kevin Kline, to the charity comedy show presented by Team Backbone. Why they were both there is anyone’s guess, and in typical Apprentice fashion, never addressed.
But it was good to see Miss Cates again, wasn’t it? She holds a very special place in my heart. You see, between her topless poolside scene in Fast Times at Ridgemont High and her ostrich-feathered-clad meowing delivery of the line, “Which one of you bitches is my mother?” in the classic trashy miniseries Lace, Phoebe single-handedly kept me from being able to accurately determine my sexual preference until well into my college years.
Dancing with the Stars, are you paying attention? There is an entire generation of pushing forty-somethings that would tune it to watch this girl in the arms of Mark Ballas. Get on that.
Now… on to tonight’s Celebrity Apprentice. And if we learned anything tonight, we learned that three hours of this show is at least an hour and forty-five minutes too much. Even worse, the first ninety minutes of this double-challenge episode were filled with such love, camaraderie and admiration, it might as well have been a family reunion at Pat Boone’s house. Where were the petty squabbles? Where was the name calling? Where was the horrifically offensive bad grammar that spills out from the mouths of these celebrities when their tempers get the best of them.
Yes, Nene Leakes, I’m talking to you. Just when you finally win me over, you up and abandon me!
Somewhere between Nene’s verbal pummeling of Star Jones last week – some of the best television Celebrity Apprentice or any reality show for that matter has delivered to my living room all year long – and the beginning of this week’s episode, Nene done completely lost her nerve along with, apparently, her marbles and bailed on the show altogether. Her flimsy excuse was that Trump had given in to Star by sending Nene over to the other team, but that didn’t really make any sense, did it?
So what exactly was it that sent Nene voluntarily packing? Was it the ever-increasing stakes? The ever-diminishing wimpy celebrities left for Nene to hide behind? No, Nene just has some good PR people in her corner. After all, the rest of the celebrities are simply fired by Donald Trump. Everyone’s seen that. Nene’s the only one who’s stepping out of the running on her own, no explanation given, and as far as Nene is concerned, none required.
This kind of exit is going to send Nene’s star further along than just waiting around for Trump to cut off her head. After all, you’re not seeing David Cassidy, Hope What’s Her Name or Richard Hatch turning up on The Joy Behar Show to discuss their appearances on the show, are you? No. Nene was smart to go out this way, I’d say. She probably knew that winning was clearly was not in the cards for her. Miss Leakes seems to have seen the writing on the wall. And Trump, never one to allow an upstaging did all he could to discredit her: “You’re fired… and you’re a quitter AND Star Jones kicked your ass …whether you like it or not!” Too little, too late, Mister Trump. You can take your ball back onto the playground. No one’s interested in stealing it from you.
Continue reading “<i>Celebrity Apprentice</i> Recap: May 8, 2011” »