I’m still not the biggest fan of the shroom, but the zesty aroma will make them hard to refuse. A definite must-bring to any pot-luck party. Just make sure your host has available oven space to cook them just before putting them out. (Geez, I sound like Martha Stewart! I’m tossing that powder blue oven mitt the minute I get home!)

Stuffed Mushrooms from Half Hour Meals

1 package of large white mushrooms (about 10)
8 oz. cream cheese
6 strips of bacon (cooked and crumbled)
1 tbsp. worcestershire sauce
2 tbsp. parmesan cheese (separated)
Preheat your oven to 400F. Wipe all your mushrooms off with a damp paper towel to remove all dirt. DON’T RINSE THEM or they’ll absorb all the water and blow up to something you could attach to a rope and parade down Central Park West on Thanksgiving morning.

Carefully pull out each stump so there is a hole in each mushroom to stuff. Discard the stumps. If one breaks off, you can use a spoon to scrape it out of the inside of the hole.

In a large bowl, add your cream cheese and stick in the microwave for 30 seconds to 1 minute to soften. Take your precooked, crumbled bacon and add to the cream cheese. Stir and add your Worcestershire sauce as well. Mix all ingredients vigorously until fully combined. Take a spoonful of the mixture and fill each mushroom cap. You can fill each cap pretty generously as long as it does not fall down the side of the mushroom.

Place your mushrooms, filling side up, in a greased baking pan. Place into the oven and cook for about 15-25 minutes, ovens will vary. The last 5 minutes pull the pan out of the oven and top with grated parmesan cheese. You can tell that they are done when the mushrooms are dark in color and slightly mushy to the touch. The filling should be slightly browned on top.

Remove from heat and allow to cool for a few minutes. The filling will be extremely hot! If you have any filling leftover, I recommend hanging on to is and using as as a bagel or sandwich spread. You will not be disappointed.

Here’s a simple twist on the recipe for crab puffs I posted a while back to accomodate those heathens who dislike crab. There were more of them out there then I originally realized – my mother and father being two of them – so out with the crustacea and in with a hot and zesty one-two punch of prosciutto and serrano pepper that’ll keep these babies flying into your mouth faster than you can keep count. And being as light and mouth-watering as they are, you won’t want to keep count.

Serrano is Spanish for “from the mountains.” The peppers were reportedly first cultivated in the mountain regions of Puebla and Hidalgo, Mexico. They are generally the hottest peppers commonly found in U.S. grocery stores, and are 5 to 10 times hotter than jalapenos. Their thin skin and meatiness makes pre-prep nearly non-existent. I simply mince a few up and toss them into everything – tacos, tuna salads, ground beef, chicken, sandwiches, eggs and pizza toppings. They’re bountiful and inexpensive, but if you’re not a fan of chile pepper heat, just omit them from the recipe. The prosciutto itself brings more than enough flavor to satisfy just about anyone.

• 1 cup water
• 6 tablespoons butter
• 1/8 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 5 eggs
• 3/4 finely chopped prosciutto or fully cooked ham
• 2 serrano peppers, minced
• 1/4 cup minced chives

In a large saucepan, bring the water, butter and pepper to a boil.  Add in the flour ALL AT ONCE and CONTINUE TO STIR until it begins to come together into a sticky substance with a “Play-Doh” consistency. Remove from the heat and let stand for about five minutes

Add eggs, one at a time, blending well after each addition.  Continue beating until the mixture becomes smooth and shiny.  Stir in the prosciutto, serrano peppers and chives. Mix thoroughly.

Lay out on greased baking sheets in heaping teaspoons.  Cook for approximately 19-22 minutes, but check frequently, and once they turn golden brown, remove them.  Let cool for about 5 minutes, then serve warm.  Refrigerate leftovers and re-heat at 350 for about 10 minutes  (though they go down almost as well cold, trust me).

Once you start showing off what you’ve managed to learn to make in the kitchen (say, on a blog for example), you have to take a certain level of responsiblity when friends and family start making certain food assumptions about what you’ll prepare for them when you invite them over. I became accutely aware of that fact earlier this week when my friend Travis asked what I was going to be serving at my weekly LOST viewing party and dinner:

Travis: “What are you making tonight, Gary?”
Me: “I’m making this amazing jalapeno popper mac and cheese.”
Travis:  “Cool… what else?”
Me:  “What do you mean what else?”
Travis:  “I mean… what else are you making to go with it?  And what, no dessert?”

I guess my days of gliding by with spaghetti and meatballs served on plastic plates I stole from my college dining commons are over, but I’ll happily leave that era in my past. MG often reminds me of my typical day’s food rundown from our first year or so of dating. I don’t recall, but apparently I lived exclusively on Hot Pockets, McDonalds and Tombstone frozen pizzas. I’m guessing MG is happy I’ve left those days behind as well.

On to the mad mac and cheese recipe I found over at Let’s Cook.

It’s not going to win any awards for keeping your arteries shiny and clear, and it may cause your eyes to spontaneously cross every few bites, but it is deadly satisfying in the way really bad Catholic sins are satisfying. And don’t worry about preparing anything else to go alongside it. Trust me, it is not necessary. This meal is covered in cheese, and since the cheese stands alone, this meal does as well.

Jalapeño Popper Mac and Cheese from Let’s Cook Adapted from Rachael Ray

• 16 ounces dry pasta (cavatappi was listed in the recipe, but I used mostaccioli – just make sure it’s hollow)
• 2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil
• 3 jalapeño chiles, seeded, ribs removed and thinly sliced
• 2 serrano chiles, seeded, ribs removed and thinly sliced
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 1/2 cups milk
• 8 ounces cream cheese, sliced into cubes
• 2 tablespoons dried minced onion
• 8 ounces (about 2 cups) shredded Mexican-blend cheese

In a large pot of boiling, salted water, add pasta and cook according to package directions. Drain and place back into the pot off heat.

Meanwhile, in a medium saucepan, heat oil over medium. Stir in jalapeños, serranos and garlic – cook until tender, about 5 minutes. Add to the pot with the drained pasta.

Preheat the broiler.

In the same saucepan, add milk, cream cheese and onion – heat over medium-low, stirring, until very smooth, about 5 minutes. Pour in to the pot with the pasta and add the cheese – season with salt and fresh ground black pepper, tossing well to coat. Scoop mixture into a casserole dish coated with cooking spray. Place under the broiler and bake until lightly browned on top, about 3 to 5 minutes.

There’s some serious cheese going on here, folks.  You need to be warned… I mean truly warned.  Take a good look at the photo below and ask yourself, “Do I have the fortitude to take on this recipe?”  All of the cheese in the photo below was grated  and melted into a mere 12 ounces of penne rigate to create the finished product.  You’ve been told.

And it doesn’t stop there.  There’s also butter!  There’s also bacon!  There’s also the fat from the bacon! There’s also white flour.  There’s also fresh sage, parsley, oregano and rosemary.  Some of that counts as vegetables, right?

Am I leaving anything out.  Oh yeah!  I accidentally doubled the amount of butter required by the recipe.  Oops!  I swear, it was unintentional.  And guess what, it totally didn’t ruin the meal!  Who’d have thought it?

I started preparing this at about 8:00 in the evening.  I started eating it at about 9.  By about 10, I was speaking in tongues and levitating three feet off the floor

The recipe can be found at StephenCooks.com, so send your thank you cards and/or the pants you are about to no longer be able to fit into his direction, not mine.  I didn’t come up with this.  I merely used it on a lonely Wednesday night to fill a hole in my heart.  Cheese is really the best way to overcome such things, don’t you think?

So take a read below for how to get ‘er done, and then head to the store for the ingredients you’re missing, because if you have this much cheese just sitting around your house already, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t be spending your time reading blog posts.

I will leave the cheeses Stephen used in the recipe below and let you know my substitutions next to them.

Herby Macaroni and Three Cheeses

Serves 6 – 8.

• 6 oz Taleggio cheese, shredded (I subbed in 6 oz of Boar’s Head Muenster)
• 6 oz sharp imported Provolone cheese, shredded (I subbed in 4 oz of Boar’s Head Horseradish Cheddar along with 4 oz. mozzarella)
• 4 oz Parmeggiano Reggiano, shredded
• 2 tbsp fresh sage, minced
• 3 tbsp fresh rosemary, minced
• 4 tbsp fresh parsley, minced
• 2 tbsp fresh oregano, minced
• 4 strips thick cut bacon (about 4 oz)
• 2 cups milk
• 2 tbsp butter
• 3 tbsp flour
• 2 tsp mustard powder
• 1 tsp salt
• 12 oz elbow macaroni or penne rigate
• hot sauce (I used Day of the Dead habanero)

Toss the shredded cheeses and add the herbs until well-mixed. Divide the mixture into two bowls, with approximately 10 ounces of the mixture in one bowl and the remainder in the other.

Cook the bacon.  Drain on paper towel and chop.

Warm the milk in a small saucepan.

Pour all but 2 tablespoons of the bacon fat from the sauté pan. Add the butter to the sauté pan and melt over medium-high heat. When the foaming subsides, scatter in the flour and cook, stirring constantly, about 3 minutes. If you really want to take it over the top, add the unused bacon fat into the warming milk and stir well.

Pour in the milk and cook, stirring, until the sauce is smooth and thick. Mix in the separated 10 ounces of cheese, one handful at a time, stirring t0 melt before adding the next handful.

Cook and stir until smooth. Add the salt and dry mustard and stir to mix.

Add hot sauce to taste and correct seasoning.I probably worked in about 1 half tablespoon total, but could have taken it a little further without it overpowering the finished flavor.

Cook the pasta just beyond al dente and drain. Add the chopped bacon to the cheese sauce and mix the sauce with the macaroni. Pour into a buttered casserole or baking dish. Scatter the remaining cheese/herb mixture over the macaroni and bake in a preheated 425º oven about 20-25 minutes (keep a good eye on it).

Finish the dish in the broiler for 2-3 minutes (again, keep a good eye on it).  When the top is your desired degree of browned and crispy, remove from the oven and let cool for approximately 5 minutes before serving.

Too many people don’t know how to cook sprouts. If you’re one of them, here’s a sweet and savory recipe to get you started!

One of the most common ways Brussels sprouts are prepared in the United States is by boiling, steaming or roasting – more than enough reason right there to stay the hell away from them. Brussels sprouts are of the same family as cabbage, kale, and collard greens, and if steaming, boiling or roasting a plate of any of those vegetables and serving them up to your family sounds like a fab-oo idea, then by all means stop reading here, head to the kitchen and take one giant step toward complete familial alienation.

Say it out loud… “how does boiled kale sound to everyone tonight?” and you see my point.

MG insists that the reason Brussels sprouts aren’t more popular in this country is the way they are traditionally prepared. Brussels sprouts are packed with vitamin A and C, and have lots of healthy fiber. Plus, they are really cute to look at and photograph fabulously. Sadly, these spunky green babies have been maligned by the lack of recipes showcasing them as a compliment to other flavors as opposed to being the featured flavor in a dish. This recipe solves that problem by putting their cabbage-like earthy flavor up against the spicy smokiness of bacon and the sweet addictive flavor of figs.

This was very first experimentation with Brussels sprouts in my entire life.  Had it not been for tripping over this recipe at The Minimalist, I wouldn’t even have been inclined to pick them up at the store.  But dare I did, and there they sat… in my refrigerator… for several days, until I had the guts to actually put this recipe to the test. It took three calls to MG to ask, “You like Brussels sprouts, riiiighht?,” and three rounds of him re-assuring me that yes… Brussels sprouts are delicious, are nutritious and have merely had their reputation unfairly marred by a lack inventiveness in preparation.

Brussels Sprouts with Figs and Bacon

• 2 Tbsp olive oil
• 8-10 Brussels sprouts
• 10-20 figs, dried, or fresh, with stems clipped
• 4-6 slices of bacon (go even further to enhance the smokiness – and fair warning to weight watchers – you’ll be preparing the sprouts and figs in rendered bacon fat)
• 1-2 Tbsp Balsamic vinegar
• 1/4- 1/3 cup of water

First, fry up your bacon in a skillet with some oil, and as it’s cooking, shred your Brussels sprouts.  This can be done in a matter of seconds with the slicing blade in your food processor, or if you feel the need to work out some hidden sexual frustration, break out the old knife and cutting board and have at it.

Once your bacon is near but not completely cooked, drop in your shredded Brussels sprouts and reduce your heat, stirring constantly in a stir-fry fashion.  I let them work into each other for about 8 minutes, but you could take them off in less time.
The water can be thrown in at this point, to bring the flavors together.  The figs should go in with about two minutes to spare before you’re ready to pull your skillet off the heat.

Make sure your water has evaporated completely, and be sure to continue to stir. As long as you do that, keep on eye on the color of your bacon, and remember to add the figs in only towards the end, you really cannot mess this up.
Once out of the skillet, drip in a tablespoon or two of Balsamic and stir up. Dotting the plate with Balsamic adds a nice touch, something my final presentation could have used. Serve with white wine, and enjoy!
BONUS PIC – appetizers were also served that night. Muenster cheese with crackers and fresh blackberries. The mild flavor and softness of the cheese makes it a perfect partner for the juicy sweetness of the berries. Also a slam dunk with the white wine, and very photogenic!

Scones make me think of a stodgy, listless tea party with Joan Plowright and Emma Thompson in a Merchant-Ivory picture, where no one reveals a single true emotion, Joan peers down through half-spectacles and huffs disapprovingly at everything she sees, and Emma is fraught with concern over relatives on deathbeds, if she’ll be invited to a respectable home for the winter, and whether or not Fanny the chambermaid has located the missing bed warmer.

No… scones do not interest me in the least. I’ll happily pass them up in any bakery case or grocery aisle, in any stage of freshness any day of the week. I’ve always found them to be heavy, cumbersome, and a real effort to get through, much like many a Merchant-Ivory picture.

Then I discovered this recipe for jalapeno cheddar scones.

If Merchant-Ivory had ever made a film where Emma and Joan have a hot-oil wrestling match and Grace Jones kicks in the salon door and snaps Hugh Grant’s neck between her thighs, these are the scones that would be served.

Jalapeno Cheddar Scones from rom Smitten Kitchen

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 tablespoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 8 tablespoons (1 stick or 4 ounces) cold butter, diced
• 1/2 cup heavy cream
• 3 eggs, divided
• 1/4 pound sharp Cheddar cheese, diced
• 3 small jalapeños pepper, minced

My balcony’s “little jalapeno plant that could” managed to produce only three peppers before closing up shop until spring, but three were more than enough for this recipe, which originally only called for two.  I diced them up and threw them into a heated pan with half a tablespoon of butter and stirred them around, leaving them to cook for about three minutes.
Let the peppers cool in a bowl and once they have, drop them in with the cheddar cheese and coat them with one tablespoon of  flour. Combine the remaining flour with the baking powder and salt.

The next stage was to “cut in the remaining butter with a pastry blender… until the butter bits are pea sized.” I know what “pea-sized” means but the rest of that instruction left me completely scrunch-nosed.  Basically, cut the butter up into teeny-tiny pieces.  Why it is necessary to do it this way I have no idea, but I’m not confident enough yet in the kitchen not to stay the course.  Additionally, I had no idea what “divided” eggs meant, which made me nervous.  MG looked it up on the internet.  It means you won’t use all the required eggs in one place.  Get it?   They’re divided!  I always think everything is harder than it actually is.

Two of the eggs get mixed into the flour-butter mixture, along with the cream.  Then using a wooden spoon, fold mixture until it begins to come together. This was a bit tricky, but eventually it happens.  Once it’s come together, throw in the lovely red and yellow cheddar-jalapeno mixture and mix like crazy!

Turn out the dough onto a well-floured surface and knead gently for less than one minute. Then divide it up into approximately 1 inch pieces on a cookie sheet with parchment paper.  The last egg is mixed with a teaspoon of water for an egg wash over the tops.  This part was my favorite –I got to buy a pastry brush!


Slip the scones into the oven and cook for about 20-25 minutes or until they’re golden brown. They were really quite amazing. Just enough heat delivered by the peppers, the cheese is more present in some bites then others, so it’s always a new taste. Serve with a little jam and snooty English tea… if you must.

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Underneath that deceptively simple asiago/mozzarella cheese canopy are hiding chunks of shiitake mushroom, aromatic fennel, tangy tomato, onion, and thick cuts of spicy salami.  I had complete confidence in all of these ingredients with the exception of the fennel.  I’d never used it in a pizza before, and I was worried its flavor might overwhelm.  No need to fear.  This pizza was all sorts of savory, rich, and meaty, with just pings here and there of fennel sweetness.

I snatched up this recipe from My Year on the Grill, who is in the opening weeks of his Pizza 2011 Project – 52 unique gourmet pizzas in 52 weeks.  If you’re looking for something other than the standard default pepperoni pie, this should be your first stop.   And if you see no need to deviate from the traditional, he’s also got a couple suggestions for how to gussy up the classics!

Ever heard a pizza talk?  This one had quite a bit to say (and no, for those of you who follow this blog regularly and might be wondering, it’s not Bond music in the background, but it’s close.  It’s Michael Giacchino’s soundtrack for The Incredibles).

Salami with Fennel and Asiago Pizza from Year on the Grill

For the sauce:

1 can (14 ounces) diced tomatoes
1 small can tomato paste
4 shiitake mushroom buttons, cut into thin slivers
1/4 cup red wine
2 cloves garlic
1/2 cup Pecorina Romano cheese
1/4 white onion, diced (I added this to Year on the Grill’s recipe)

Combine everything in a sauce pan and simmer for 30 minutes. Year on the Grill suggests then using hand mixer and blending to a thick paste, but I kept it as is – nice and chunky!

For the pizza:

1 stick salami of your choice. I used Columbus Brand Herb Salami
1 cup shredded Asiago cheese
1 cup mozzarella cheese
Pre-made pizza dough (or if you have the time to make your own, click here for a recipe)
Salt and pepper for seasoning, along with any additional spices of your choice
olive oil for brushing the pizza dough

Preheat oven and pizza stone (or heavy baking sheet) to 500 degrees for at least 30 minutes.

Cut the salami into slices about 1/2 inch thick, then cut these into quarters. I halved them and left it at that.

Cut the fennel bulb into thin slices, separate the rings

Grate the asiagio cheese

Roll your crust out on parchment paper to your personal preference. Brush Olive oil around the edges. Salt and pepper the crust. Top with your sauce, fennel, salami, and both your cheeses. Add any additional seasoning and bake in the oven for 10-12 minutes. If you notice the side closer to the rear of your oven browning faster, turn pizza midway through the cooking.

Pull your bubbly pie out of the oven, and watch it dance and sing as it cools. Give it close to ten minutes before you cut into it. Enjoy with someone you love!

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Is anyone else able to take a shot like the one above: an unorganized mess of recipes downloaded and printed out so as not to be forgotten?  I have mini-piles of these everywhere – my desk at home, my desk at work, the dining room table, the back seat of my car, my computer bag, the end table in the living room, the kitchen counters, above the refrigerator, on the refrigerator, and most likely one or two by this point underneath the refrigerator.

The need I have for a tangible copy of any recipe I intend to make is overwhelming and insurmountable.  It’s not enough to bookmark the site and come back to it later.  I must have a printed copy of it in my possession.  Forget the fact that I have so many now it’s nearly impossible to find the one that I’m looking for in the sea of papers.  I’ll spread the things all over the damn bedroom floor and spend twenty minutes on a search before admitting to myself the need for a simple organizational Saturday.

Luckily, this recipe did not come from the web.  It was born from a need to put food in my belly and the lack of initiative required to make the trip four blocks to my local Rock and Roll Ralphs.  There’s generally always some ground meat and some kind of roll to be found in my kitchen.  On this particular night there was also an avocado which, thanks to the help of a brown paper bag and an apple, had ripened to the point of perfection.  For the leftover hickory sauce, I recommend a slow-cooker and some meatballs.

To the trees, I offer an apology.  I’ll work on it.

Burger Ingredients

• 1 1/2 lbs. ground turkey or lamb
• 6 slices bacon
• 1 jalapeño pepper, seeded and stemmed, finely chopped
• 1 bell pepper, finely chopped
• 1/2 red onion, finely chopped
• 1 firm-ripe avocado, peeled, pitted, and sliced into 8 even pieces
• 2 tsps smoked paprika
• salt and pepper to taste
• hamburger buns of Kaiser rolls

Hickory Sauce Ingredients

• 1 1/2 cups barbecue sauce
• 3/4 tomato paste
• 1/2 cup ketchup
• 1/2 cup brown sugar, packed
• 1/2 cup water
• 1 teaspoon liquid smoke

Combine the sauce ingredients and mix thoroughly.  Cook bacon.  In a bowl, add the chopped peppers, onion, salt, pepper, and smoked paprika to the ground meat.  Crumble in all the bacon and combine.  Form four (or three larger) uniform patties and indent the centers with your thumb to keep them from bulging as they cook.   Grill for approximately eight to ten minutes, flipping once or twice. Top with two avocado slices and hickory sauce.

Here’s something else.  She took me to Disneyland once and dragged me into the “Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln” attraction.  She waited until I was sufficiently bored before leaning over and gently whispering into my ear, “You better pay attention because they give you a test afterwards, and if you fail it they kick you out of the park.”

This one is good too:  Jodi was officially the first person in the family who found out I had no interest in women.  She was visiting at the house I shared in Beverly Hills around 1997 or so, and while at the dinner table my idiot roommate (who later became my idiot boyfriend for a few years) casually asked, “Hey Gary, do the people at your office know you’re gay?”  I can’t imagine what my face looked like at that moment. (You’ll have to wait for Jodi’s blog to get the full report on that). Compounding the embarrassment was that Jodi was staying the night, and sharing my room.

There was no escape, no shell under which I could retreat.

But Jodi calmly re-assured me later that night as I was curled up in the corner of my room, wishing I could die, that she wasn’t really surprised by the news (are attentive older sisters ever surprised by that news?) and that it didn’t change anything between us.  She also made it clear to me that it wouldn’t make a difference to anyone else in my family either, thought it took me a while longer to actually come to believe that.

It was probably close to six months before I mustered the courage to come out to the rest of the family, but when I did, I knew no matter what reaction I’d get, I had Jodi in my corner.

My kitchen is small.  Really small.  If my apartment is the entire world, my kitchen is Malta.  So I don’t generally like other people in there with me when there’s cooking going on.

Ask MG.  He’ll tell you the best spot to interact with me while I’m getting down over the stove is seated on the bar stool on the other side of the counter between the kitchen and the living room – full access to the chef ‘s attention without eating up any valuable elbow room.

But when your big sister comes up to spend the Fourth of July weekend and wants to cook with you, and it’s the sister who encouraged and supported rambunctious childhood mischief (even if it was dangerous), happily had innocent fun at your expense (even if it was mean), and embraced you with love when you worried you might lose the support of your family (even if it was never even a real possibility), god dammit… you shove yourself over and make plenty of room!




This recipe was great because it was so much easier with two people making it. While I handled the coulis, Jodi was cooking the lasagna and preparing the feta spinach filling.  After I rolled the filling into each lasagna noodle, I handed off to her to do the cutting.  Mom and dad would have been so proud to see siblings working so well together.

Consider these little lovelys a way for you to have far more portion control than if you made a traditional lasagna.  I don’t know about you but I tend to cut myself a piece that is way bigger than what my stomach can handle.  But once it’s on the plate in front of me, I won’t stop until it’s completely devoured.  As these are smaller and individual, you can drop one or two on to your plate with some garlic bread, and go back for another later.  Or you can be like MG and take down six of them.  They were definitely a hit, and lots of leftovers (18 florets total)!

Spinach and Feta Florets with Tomato Coulis

• 9 dry lasagna noodles, uncooked
• Tomato Coulis:
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 cup chopped red onion
• 1 tablespoon minced garlic
• 3 cans (14.5 oz each) Hunt’s Diced Tomatoes, undrained
• 1/4 cup thinly sliced fresh basil
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper

Filling:

• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 2 tablespoons minced shallots
• 3 pkgs (10 oz each) frozen chopped spinach, thawed, squeezed dry
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 9 tablespoons crumbled feta cheese

Preparation
Hands On: 1 hour
Total: 1 hour 30 minutes

Preheat oven to 350F. Spray 13- x 9-inch baking dish with cooking spray. Cook lasagna noodles for about 6 minutes in salted, boiling water (or until pliable but still firm). When done, rinse with cold water, drain. Spray noodles with cooking spray to prevent sticking until ready to fill.

Meanwhile, make Tomato Coulis. Heat oil in medium saucepan over medium heat 1 minute. Add onions and garlic; cook 4 minutes, stirring occasionally, or until onion is tender. Add undrained tomatoes; cook over medium-low heat 30 minutes (sauce should be gently bubbling around edge of pan). Place coulis in blender container and puree until smooth (work in several batches if necessary). Place coulis in baking dish; set aside.

Make Filling: Heat oil in large skillet over medium-high heat 1 minute. Add shallots; cook 3 minutes, stirring occasionally, or until tender. Blend in well-drained spinach, salt, pepper and nutmeg. Cook and stir 3 minutes or until heated through. Remove from heat.

Place plastic wrap on work surface. Lay out lasagna noodles. Top each with equal amounts of spinach mixture (about 1/3 cup). Spread spinach evenly over each noodle leaving last 2 inches uncovered. Sprinkle 1 tablespoon feta over spinach on each noodle. Roll up each starting with the covered end. Carefully cut each roll-up in half and place ruffled-edge facing up in dish. Cover dish with aluminum foil. Bake 30 to 35 minutes or until sauce is bubbling and roll-ups are hot.

I sprinkled about a tablespoon of red pepper flakes over the tops of the florets just before baking.  It added a nice bit of heat for me, but I tend to like more than the average person.  If you’re a fan of the heat, try a teaspoon the first time and more the next if you dare.

To serve, spread 1/2 cup hot coulis in each shallow bowl; top with 3 roll-ups. Remaining sauce may be served on side.

The Black Scorpion centers on a misunderstood prehistoric creature who is accidentally freed from his underground cave by a volcanic eruption and proceeds to roam all of Mexico in search of friendship and understanding.

Unfortunately, he is unable to find it, so instead he decides to slash his way through thousands of locals, demolish infrastructure, and create economic chaos in an attempt to weaken the peso.

Is it wrong to have a little sympathy for this guy?  True, his stinger is the size of a Beluga Airbus, but I think we could all benefit from a little understanding.  After all, think of everything The Black Scorpion’s missed out on these past 65 million years. He didn’t get to see that Garbage Pail Kids movie.  He never got to try Billy Beer.  He missed those Pepsi commercials with the little Jewish girl who sounds like Aretha Franklin. Don’t even tell him about Hands Across America!

It makes sense that The Black Scorpion’s probably a little frustrated for not being more up on recent culture. Shit, I go nuts when my DVR forgets to record Price is Right.
So he knocked a few trains off their tracks, and he pulled a couple phone repair guys off their polls and snapped ‘em in half.  Don’t tell me E.T. wasn’t planning the same exact path of destruction before he got trapped by that trio of brats and was forced to live in the bottom of a closet, eat obscene amounts of sugar, and dress in drag.
No… human beings were just not ready to embrace a predatory arthropod simply looking to make friends and live its best life.  So they lured him to a giant football stadium with a truck full of dead cattle and went after him with tanks, choppers and electric cables to the throat.
And in the end, as is often the case in these 1950′s stop-motion horror films (especially the ones that came out of Warner Brothers), the humans come out on top!

Sorry to see you go, Señor Black Scorpion, but on the bright side, the little niños will have dinner tonight!

Texas BBQ Chicken Pizza with Prosciutto

• 1 – 1 1/2 cups BBQ sauce
• 1 1/2 – 2 cups cubed or shredded chicken
• 1/4 cup diced onion
• 2 cups gouda, 1/4 cup reserved
• 1 cup mozzarella, 1/4 cup reserved
• 1/2 cup diced bell pepper
• 2 tsp. diced pickled jalapeno pepper slices
• 1/4 cup roughly chopped prosciutto
• 1 tsp. fresh chopped basil
• 1 tsp. fresh chopped rosemary
• salt, oregano and pepper to taste
• 1 Tbsp. oilve oil

Preheat oven with pizza stone to 500°F. Evenly spread the olive oil over the top of your rolled-out pizza crust. Top with BBQ sauce and chopped onion, then both cheeses (reserving 1/4 cup of each, followed by bell peppers, jalapenos and prosciutto.

Top with both reserved cheeses, basil and rosemary. Add salt, pepper and oregano. Cook in oven for approximately 14 minutes (turning once mid-way), or until crust is golden brown. Gouda does not melt as smoothly as mozzarella so don’t be concerned if it still looks slightly un-melted. If the rest of the pie looks ready, remove it from the oven, let cool and enjoy!