Game of Thrones Got You Confused? You Are Not Alone!

Having trouble keeping up with Game of Thrones? Finding it tough to tell your Lannisters from your Baratheons? Keep your head on! Writer and Thrones-fanatic Johnny Mansbach is here with an easy to follow recap of all you need to understand before war and winter finally arrive, not to mention those pesky little dragons.

Written by Johnny Mansbach for Tv Food and Drink

Game of Thrones tells the unflinchingly violent and often tragic struggle for power to rule on The Iron Throne over the Seven Kingdoms. The setting is tens-of-thousands-of-years Before Christ. So that’s already refreshing. The epic story is heavy drama with an element of science fiction throughout.

Now since we’re already half way through season two, let me take a moment to catch everybody up to what’s been going on. And I warn you, since there are things currently happening that would spoil other things already revealed in the first season, this recap probably contains super-advanced plot spoilers. So here we go:

The good King, Robert Baratheon, has been suspiciously murdered in a hunting accident leaving his son, the horrifically abusive 15-year-old tantrum-laden Joffrey, ruling over the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros. But you think the Lords of all those lands are gonna take any crap from this little bastard?

Oh heeeeaayyll no…!

Now Joffrey supposedly rules over the various regions, organized by various kingdoms, and ruled much like mafia families run territories. In fact Game of Thrones plays out much like The Sopranos; except these tough guys use broadswords, not bullets. Each of these families has a leader, all of whom are now vying to destroy the bastard King Joffrey and sit on the Iron Throne of Westeros (hence the book title, A Clash of Kings, from whence the season is based.) So here’s the low-down on the six warring factions:

1) First are the honorable Starks and their Lord Ned Stark that rules over Winterfell. The Starks are strong allies to King Robert Baratheon, and pretty much our heroes of the saga. The story unfolds through the eyes of their children Robb, Sansa, Arya, Bran, Rickon, and Ned’s bastard son, Jon Snow. And that’s the way they all become the Ned Stark Bunch.

Ned was Hand of the King (sort of like a violent personal assistant) and, upon learning the bastard Joffrey’s gross little secret, was sentenced and executed as a traitor. You killed off the main star in just 7 episodes? Shocking death number one!

Continue Reading: Game of Thrones Got You Confused? You Are Not Alone!

10 Cinco de Mayo Recipes!

If you’re still looking for ways to wow your friends and family with a one-of-a-kind Mexican feast this Cinco de Mayo, here come the Top 10 Latin-themed recipes that should definitely be crowding your table this weekend.

Some are wild, some are mild, but they’re all rich in flavor. More importantly, they all go well with a chilled Tecate or a shot of tequlia. Have a great weekend!

Habanero Pizza

It may look like a traditional Italian pie, but this sauce carries a kick that definitely comes from South of the Border! Those who like to avoid foods that make their eyes water will not be put off, though they will receive a subtle indication with each bite that there’s something sneaky going on. It’s just a pinch of heat that won’t linger on the tongue but will definitely make its inclusion known.

Click here for the recipe

Next… Tomatillo Sauce and Guacamole

Cheesecake Marbled Browines Recipe 2012 (Part of the “Keep Your Man Employed” Series)

Today, I sent my man off to work with a double batch of these babies.

You may be saying to yourself, “But Gary… you go to such great lengths in the kitchen, and then you let MG take all those brownies to work with him?”

And I’d answer, “yes.” Because when the hubby goes to work with cheesecake brownies made from scratch, his stage (he’s an animator) becomes the focal point of the production offices.

When his stage becomes the focal point of the production offices, he’s more readily able to showcase not only his brilliant animating skills, but also his winning personality and magical blue eyes.

When he showcases his brilliant animating skills, his winning personality and magical blue eyes, co-workers say, “Wow, that Michael Granberry is something special!”

When co-workers say, ”Wow, that Michael Granberry is something special!” they’re more likely to throw promotions, raises and multi-million dollar production deals his way.

When co-workers throw promotions, raises and multi-million dollar production deals his way, he becomes a Hollywood hotshot, all his career dreams come true, and I get a swimming pool!

So yes, the brownies go to work with MG.  Just like the oatmeal truffle cookies did last week, and the yet-to-be-determined dessert will next week.

And the week after that, and the week after that, and the week after that.

And whenever Michael comes home with good news from the office, I close my eyes, smile, and say to him, “I can almost smell the chlorine already!”

Get Cheesecake Marbled Brownie Recipe Here

Moroccan-Spiced Spaghetti Squash

Every recipe I read for preparing spaghetti squash warns that if one intends to cook the squash without cutting it in half, one must never forget to pierce it numerous times with a sharp knife about an inch deep to prevent bursting.

I, personally would LOVE to roll the dice and cook myself up a hot “squash bomb,” and if I was living in my old apartment I would have done it, because the splattering of wet hot spaghetti meat and moist squash skin on my kitchen walls would have actually been an improvement.  But I probably won’t make one now that I’m in my new place, where cleaning the refrigerator actually has an effect, the floors aren’t covered with scratches and the smoke alarm doesn’t go off every time I go to boil a hot dog.

Click here for Moroccan-Spiced Spaghetti Squash Recipe

Dancing with the Stars Recap: April 30, 2012

It’s “Classical Week” on Dancing with the Stars. And that means three things…

1.) A great big, impressive string section that makes you wish you could go back in time and take those musical instrument lessons your mother insisted you’d really thank her for one day.

2.) An inordinate amount of bare chests on the men, because if left on your own, ABC is afraid you’d equate “Classical Week” with portly fops in powdered wigs applauding ever-so-politely at the virtuous daughter of the town squire as she performs on the clavichord only days before she comes down with dysentery.

3.) Special appearances from a variety of elegant and world-renowned musical talents like Joshua Bell, Jackie Evancho, Vittorio Grigolo, and other people I only ever see when they appear on Dancing with the Stars, America’s Got Talent or the ninety-second commercials for their cd’s that air at three in the morning or right around Christmas time.

Yes, it’s true, I’m probably not the classiest guy you’ll ever meet, but as Mark Ballas put it so eloquently tonight, “You can’t spell ‘Classical’ without ‘ass.’”

…and I’m definitely one of those.

Katherine Jenkins and Mark Ballas – Rumba – Mark and Katherine kicked off the night the way all 8pm network programs should: with a rousing Caligula-inspired seduction fest. Mark took off his shirt and achingly gyrated his upper body the way a worm with an S&M fetish might after getting pierced by the hook.  I followed my primary Catholic instinct and immediately changed the channel.  Then I followed my secondary Cathlolic instinct and changed it right back, turned down the volume, pulled my chair right up next to the tv, and promised myself anything that happened from that point forward would go with me to the grave.

Mark and Katherine’s lusty start to the evening reminded me of two very important things: As a team they have no equal this season, and never watch Game of Thrones with your parents in the rom.

You can check out their performance after the jump:

Watch Mark Ballas and Katherine Jenkin’s Sexy Rumba Here

Dancing with the Stars: April 30, 2012 – Katherine Jenkins and Mark Ballas Perform the Rumba (VIDEO and SPOILERS)

Despite a Mark Ballas shirtless wearing only a cape above the waist, he and his partner Katherine Jenkins received kudos from the judges for not taking their Dancing with the Stars Classical Week rumba down the road of raunch. Click through to watch the dance.

Watch Mark Ballas and Katherine Jenkins perform the Rumba from Dancing with the Stars Classical Week

At Vintage Enoteca, 7554 Sunset Blvd., Hollywood

Truffled Egg Toast – Egg, fontina, truffle oil, challah

VintageEnoteca.com

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Oatmeal Chocolate Truffle Cookies OR How to Keep Your Man Employed

The husband went back to work this week as animator for the new season of Cartoon Network’s Robot Chicken. Why are they lucky to have him? Well, he took my decadent oatmeal chocolate truffle cookies to work to share with the entire production staff.  That’s reason number one.  And he will continue to take my cookies to work to share as long as my oven works and they’re smart enough to keep him on the payroll.   That’s reason number two.

He’s also a pretty phenomenal animator.  That’s reason number three. I might be willing to bump that up to reason number two, but he’ll have to feature my likeness in more of his work before that happens. My effigy hasn’t made a cameo in almost five years!(that’s me in the driver’s seat of the car during Georgie’s Wish below).  Recipe follows after the jump: