If you only tuned in to tonight’s episode of Bachelor Pad because of the over-hyped live Dancing with the Stars “press conference” to announce the new season’s cast (did anyone see any members of the press?  I didn’t.), you may have found the roster reveal a little disappointing.  I however, did not.  After being made to suffer through nearly ninety minutes of Bachelor Pad’s tired old plotting, catty remarks, hysterical ranting and romantic dialgoue so clumsy Joanie and Chachi would opnely snicker at it, I was, for the first time in my life, happlily relieved to actually see Bristol Palin’s face on my television set.

Yes, Bristol assumes the Dancing “I have no idea I’m being laughed at” slot most recently vacated by Kate Gosselin.  The only way selecting her would have been anything other than completely tasteless and desperate would have been if Levi Johnston had been announced as one of her competitors.  Not only would people across the country have turned each week’s episode into an absolute event (“Teen Mom vs. Moose Cock.. there can be only one!”), but little baby Tripp would have been spared the chore of having to repeatedly explain the complex mechanics behind his See ‘n Say “Counting with Mickey” pullstring toy to mommy and daddy for a few weeks in the fall.

But… there will be no War of the Wasilla Roses.  What a missed opportunity.

But getting back to Bachelor Pad… last week, Cowboy Wes was singled out as the next one “heading for the chopping block,” a phrase the jacuzzi-going guys and gals on the show seem very fond of using, outshined only by, “There’s a target on my back!” and “No, no.  I got that from swimming in a public pool!”

Poor Cowboy Wes.  He threw in last week with Gia, who ended up getting the ax.  The “couples” in the house continue to survive while the outsider “singles” are… well… going under.

Tonight’s challenge was only original in that it was a new low in humiliating the female competitors on the show.  The residents of the Crab Shack were required to fill out surveys mandating they give “truthful” answers to nasty little fifth-grade questions about their housemates.  They were then brought together and asked to reveal not who they themselves had picked as the answer, but to correctly predict who they thought collectively got the most votes for each question, in order to secure this week’s immunity roses.

With a challenge like this, there really wasn’t any way the cast could keep themselves from looking completely like assholes.  But by far, the most humiliating moment had to be when they were all asked to reveal who they thought would be selected as the dumbest, and the overwhelming answer given was Grandma Gwen.

Now, I get it… it’s television, and they’re all competing for a quarter of a million dollars. I’d probably be readily nasty too.  And I get that Gewn didn’t have to accept the offer to appear on Bachelor Pad. And I also get that I’ve referred to her regularly here as “Grandma Gwen,” because she’s the only member of the house whose age is not only NEVER revealed, but smarmily replaced with “???” whenever her name is show on the screen.

But, consider this… Gwen has been given next to no airtime.  And in the few moments she has been featured, even when she’s saying something less than complimentary, she does so with tact with brevity.  So, as a viewer, I’m not really interested or satisifed in seeing her humiliated by all the douchebags sitting on either side of her.  Gwen has not demonstrated dumbness.  She’s demonstrated class.

I didn’t watch whatever season of The Bachelor originally featured Gwen, so I don’t know if she came off any different back then.  But if you want a viewer to indulge in watching a reality character getting taken down, you have to first establish that same reality character stepping on other people’s toes as they climb their way up.  That’s simple dramtic construction, and that isn’t what’s happened with Gwen.

So unless there’s a major “reversal of fortune” carefully being constructed for Gwen with a payoff in the weeks ahead, Bachelor Pad is guilty of just being plain nasty and unable to pull off any new twists within a rapidly staling format.

In the end, once again, two of the “outsiders” had their heads cut off in the rose ceremony. Cowboy Wes, a friend left he had none, and K-R-I-S-I-L-Y, who despite clawing and jumping around for attention like a crazed chihuahua, failed to ever garner favor or interest from pretty much anyone, bid adios to the Crab Shack.

By the way, did anyone else notice that, during the rose ceremony, the one voted “Worst Boob Job” in this week’s challenge, was decidedly demure?

I have one final question.  Who IS this person?

From one week to the next, I always forget her name because she appears even less than Gwen.  This week, I finally stopped bothering to refer to my previous posts in order to remember her name. From now on, she’s simply “Girl with Dark Hair.”

Anyone else feel that Gwen got a lousy deal signing up for this show?  Is “Worst Boob Job” just as much a victim, or is she getting what’s coming to her? Are we supposed to be surprised that three women are leaving next week, or can we assume that Bachelor Pad got an episode order for dramatically fewer weeks than the original housemate count could have possibly kept up with (the same reason Trump “suddenly and shockingly” decides to fire four candidates in one week)?

MG and I confronted two big questions today.

First… what do you make for dinner that will be satisfying and delicious, but super-easy because you started drinking champagne at four o’clock in the the afternoon and don’t have the energy to attempt anything even remotely ambitious?

Second… is it possible to eat a fantastic deep-fried tortilla loaded down with crab meat, jalapeño, avocado, tomato, onion, lime, and cotija cheese ONE-HANDED and NOT drop morsels onto the table?

The answer to the first question: Crab Tostadas.

The answer to the second question: No Fucking Way.

MG and I spent the morning at our favorite breakfast spot, Vintage Enoteca on Sunset Blvd. in Hollywood, then on to the Fairfax-Beverly Farmer’s Market where I loaded up on about thirty dollars worth of produce… and then back to Vintage for some 4pm mimosas and champagne mixed with blueberry simple sugar.

I don’t know what the name of this drink is, and I’m not sure that the owners of Vintage Enoteca have given it a name either… at least not one that might catch on, like Harvey Wallbanger or Bloody Mary.  They might want to consider naming it after me, because I’m about to start ordering it on a regular basis.

The recipe is easy…  champagne, blueberry-flavored simple sugar (which I didn’t know existed), and three fresh blueberries tossed in for a glam factor.

The narrow glass kept the champagne fizzing nicely and the blueberries bouncing gleefully between the top and the bottom of the drink, which created quite a show.

MG and I were truly mesmerized by the beauty of it. If you’ve ever looked at a lava lamp and thought to yourself, “… if only drinkable…,” this is the beverage for you.

It’s not the kind of drink I normally go for… at all…  but I loved it… so, I had a couple of them… but I wasn’t ready for the effect that champagne would have on me… or the bubbles… nope, I wasn’t ready for them… and before I knew it… I was singing… along to Bon Jovi’s “Wanted Dead or Alive” pumping through the restaurant via satellite radio… quite loudly.

Hi.  My name is Gary.  I’m half in the bag at 4:30 on a Saturday afternoon.  And I like Bon Jovi.

But here’s something good for YOU to know!  If you ever find yourself half in the bag at 4:30 on a Saturday afternoon listening to Bon Jovi, the recipe I’m about to give you is perfect for a dinner you can still manage to pull off successfully.  And you’ll most likely score some major kudos to boot!  I know, because I did it!

Yes, it does involve some knife-work, so if you’re still feeling the “champagne-wobbles,” you might want to nap or bless yourself with a cold shower before heading into your kitchen. But prep is minimal, clean-up is super-fast, and the payoff is wonderfully flavor-packed and completely satisfying.  So get yourself soused, pull out the knives, and chop up the veggies… it’s crab tostadas!  The perfect meal for the mildly inebriated!

Crab Tostadas
1 pound lump crabmeat
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 tablespoons mayonnaise
3 tablespoons finely chopped red onion (I substituted a white onion)
1 jalapeño, stemmed and finely chopped
3 plum tomatoes, cored, seeded, and chopped
1/2 cup crumbled cotija cheese
1/4 cup lightly packed cilantro leaves, chopped
2 limes, finely grated zest and juice
1 lime, sliced
Salt, black pepper, hot sauce to taste
Sour Cream
8 flat tostada shells, packaged or homemade
1 avocado, pitted and thinly sliced
Cilantro sprigs

Drain the crab meat and pick through with your fingers to remove any cartilage.
Add the oil, mayonnaise, onion, jalapeño, tomatoes, cilantro, and lime zest and juice to the crabmeat. Gently fold (or toss) all ingredients until well blended. Season well with salt, pepper and hot sauce.

Top each tostada shell with a few slices of avocado, place a generous serving of the crabmeat mixture over it, and garnish with a sprig of cilantro and the cotija cheese. Serve with lime wedges and sour cream on the side.

The next version of this meal will include some pinto beans and some chopped pickled jalapeños WITH seeds thrown in with the crab mixture, because I don’t think this meal would have suffered from some additional heat.  If extra heat isn’t your style, keep the recipe as is, and you’ll love it.

And a note… this meal is good, but messy.  Make sure you advise your diners to eat directly over their plates.  MG thought he had learned enough from his first tostada to manage devouring his second without dropping anything onto the plate or table below him, but a structural failure in the tostada itself proved to ruin his master plan, along with his clean wrist.

Poor baby.

I love you, Michael Granberry.

Work is kicking my ass this week. I’m not too thrilled to admit that I’ve been back on burgers and pizza for dinner. Shame on me. Please enjoy the fruits of my efforts below, the opening segment of my “Woop Woop Wednesday” show on GSN, and a delicious outtake after the jump. I’m hitting the kitchen hard this weekend, so get ready!

Three weeks into life at the ABC Crab Shack and the Beautiful People are proving themselves less and less attractive with each opportunity they have to open their mouths.

Unfortunately, as a result of this week’s kissing challenge, open mouths were about all we saw for the first half of the episode.

Though I admit that I was not as bored with this episode as I was with last week’s pie-eating fiasco, this week’s kissing challenge, where each girl and guy left competing on the show was blindfolded and made to make out with all of the members of the opposite sex and then vote for “the best kisser” proved to have a real “ick” factor I didn’t see coming.

Was it the over over-eagerness of Tippy Toes Tenley and David “Missing Baldwin Brother” David to flap their tongues out in the air like pez dispensers on death row?

Was it Natalie, who proudly stated, ” I would make out with everyone in the house for… like… twenty bucks”?

No, it was probably the teary-eyed Gia, who reminded us all, between her endless whimpering about having a boyfriend at home, that she’s not really all that keen on a mass-male face-sucking bonanza.

And frankly, the fact that Gia was experiencing a repulsion – fabricated or not –  at the idea of having to make out with every single guy in the house, one after another, on camera, is actually pretty buyable, and it created an aura of realistic perversion from which self-proclaimed light-hearted summer programming like Bachelor Pad should avoid at all costs.

Gia ultimately pulled out of the challenge, citing the off-camera boyfriend.  It took about ten mentions of the off-camera boyfriend for her to actually make that decision, but it’s probably hard to think clearly with all that cocoa butter in the air.

Image Credit: Kevin Foley

Also bailing on the marathon lip-locking was high school teacher Ashley, who was afraid her students would lose all respect for her if they saw her making out with a bunch of guys, to which Jesse Kovacks’ response was, “Big deal. We all did it in sixth grade!”

Now, I don’t know where you went to school for sixth grade, but if there was a line of half-dressed men with numbers around their necks standing around waiting to make out with me so I could rank them in order of kissing ability at my school, I must have been hanging out with the priests in the rectory that day, because I missed it completely.

A few notes at this point… none of the women seemed particularly interested in making out with Weatherman Jonathan.  And the men felt more or less the same way about Grandma Gwen.

Image Credit: Kevin Foley

Image Credit: Kevin Foley

This does not bode well for either of them come elimination time, though Gwen’s next to zero camera time thus far on the show seems to indicate she’ll live to see the light of another demoralizing date challenge.

HornDog Weatherman may not fare so well though, especially after last week’s dreaded Speedo appearance.

The kissing contest did, however, provide one of the funniest lines of the night from Cowboy Wes regarding making out with the fairer sex: “(Girls) going in for the kill… for the attack… it doesn’t turn me on whatsoever … unless I’m absolutely hammered.”

Way to keep it real, Wes!
“Plain Jane” Peyton and  ”Missing Baldwin Brother” David took the titles of best male and female kissers, giving them immunity roses and an additional bullet point for their professional resumes.

For his date night in Vegas, “Missing Baldwin Brother” chose…

“Twenty Bucks is All You Need” Natalie,
G-rated K-R-I-S-I-L-Y,
and last week’s “Traitor-Against-Her-Own” Nikki.

David explains that he chose Nikki because she “has class,”
K-R-I-S-I-L-Y because “we’ve had our ups and downs and what not, ”
And Natalie because “no matter what we do… I know we’re gonna have a good time,” which is probably about the nicest way to sum up Natalie’s pro column.

While Nikki and K-R-I-S-I-L-Y may be desperate to snag that immunity rose, only Natalie proves that “whatever happens in Vegas… my bikini top will definitely end up in the pool skimmer.”

Guess who wins the rose, and a night with David in the Fantasy Suite?

Seriously… this Natalie chick is one Oscar dress made out of paper clips away from being America’s next Sally Kirkland (anyone? ANYONE?).

Meanwhile, on the date with far less production value, Peyton takes Kiptyn, Jesse Kovacs and Jesse B. to the Irwindale Speedway.  Yes… the romantic Irwindale Speedaway… located squarely between the romantic love capitals of Monrovia and West Covina.

The Luxor, it ain’t, folks.

But I guess that makes sense because Peyton has hardly proven herself to be a Natalie in the “lack of underwear” department, so why splurge?

Amidst the swirling aromas of auto exhaust, burnt rubber and STP… Peyton and Jesse B. find love!  That leaves runners-up Kovacs and Kiptyn out in the cold.

The two losers have a heart to heart, “Uh… maybe aligning ourselves with Elizabeth and Tippy Toes in the house to try to get the other chicks to like us and not vote us off, uh… that may not have been the best plan… brah…”

Meanwhile, back at the Crab Shack, Gia snuggles up under the covers with Wes and cries about her fear of elimination and missing her boyfriend while drying her eyes against his treasure trail.

Wes proclaims his devout affection for Gia and swears like a mad man to do whatever he has to in order to keep her in the house, then sings her a song on his guitar about how love “don’t come easy,” which leads Gia to compare him to Shakespeare (…a better, cuter Shakespeare).

Elimination time comes around once again.  The “Cool Kids” target Gia and The Weatherman while the “Outsiders” aim for Kovacs and Elizabeth.  Who’s working with who? Who’s working against who?  Will Tippy Toes cry in this episode?  Does Gia have a boyfriend?… I can’t remember.  It’s all too confusing.

And in the end… sorry, Weatherman.. it’s shower curtains for you!  Your “only-average” muscle percentage and inability to carry a tune with your cheap guitar earned you no favors with the women of the Crab Shack. Sadly, you consistently came across like a guy who was always running around with it hanging out of your pants. That only works for guys over six feet tall with blond highlights.  You clearly only skimmed your 148 page “How to Make It on a Sleazy Dating Show” PDF sent to you by the network.

The women’s elimination came down to a tie.  From the men, Gia and Elizabeth both earned the same number of “Women I Wouldn’t Risk Impregnating” votes.  Congrats, gals!

Guess who won?

Sorry, Gia.  But on the plus side, you’ve got your boyfriend to welcome you home… unless you mentioned you were going to be on ABC’s Bachelor Pad and that he should watch, in which case, you might want to dust off that Craigslist ad.  Well, either way… loved the head band.

And what did you think?  Am I being too hard on Natalie?  Did Gia get what she deserved? Will you miss The Weatherman and his Speedo?  Will Gwen ever get a speaking part on the show?  Let me know what you think and I’ll hit you back with my response.

What’s a television show without a father/son mime act?  Not much.

Sautee-Nacoochee Arts and Community Center in Sautee, Georgia.

Cheesecake Marbled Brownies.  Get the recipe here!

Though Penny at Lake Lure Cottage Kitchen freely admits to finding this very simple and highly gratifying recipe at AllRecipes.com, I’ve still decided to re-name them in her blog’s honor.  I take a lot of food into work but rarely do I get actual requests, or in one case an outright demand for more of the same, and the sooner the better.

Luckily for all involved, there are two extra cups of blueberries in my refrigerator awaiting their assignment. Take it from me, if you want to be the singular hotshot of your office on an otherwise bleak and routine Monday morning, these muffins are your ticket to stardom.

Lake Lure Blueberry Muffins

For the muffins:

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup white sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1 egg
1/3 cup milk
1 cup fresh blueberries

For the cinnamon crumb topping

1/2 cup white sugar
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup butter, cubed
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Grease muffin cups or line with muffin liners.

To Make Crumb Topping; Mix together the 1/2 cup sugar, 1/3 cup flour, 1/4 cup butter, and 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon. Mix with a fork or your fingers until butter is incorporated and set aside.

Combine 1 1/2 cups flour, 3/4 cup sugar, salt and baking powder. Place vegetable oil into a 1 cup measuring cup; add the egg and beat to incorporate. Add enough milk to fill the cup. Mix this with flour mixture. Fold in your blueberries. Fill the muffin cups 2/3 full or right to the top.  Sprinkle with crumb topping mixture just before baking.

Bake for 20 to 25 minutes.

Only two episodes into ABC’s Bachelor Pad, and already, the tired old “sexy people in a house” story-telling formula is proving itself about as thin and obvious as the hairlines of the bachelors during the episode’s pie-eating challenge.

Not that summer programming hasn’t become routinely scintillating while relying on the same reality format everyone else is getting away with (set up alliances, show some skin, set up “secret” alliances, show people getting it on, present a Voting-Off ceremony no one could see coming because the pertinent information was not shown to us, dramatically announce that “the game has changed,” show someone crying, tease scenes from next week)… but come on!  When the highlights from this achingly stretched episode are watching “Tippy-Toes” Tenley upchuck “challenge pie” into a bucket, and Weatherman Jonathan parading around in a speedo the likes of which I have not seen since the 1970s Battle of the Network Stars, something has really gone off the rails.

Not even the beautiful bodies, hot tub flirting, or a round of shower nookie could keep me interested.  I’m sexier folding towels in the laundry room wearing my flip-flips and my 1997 DisneyWorld t-shirt.

In short, this week’s Bachelor Pad suffered from a severe “failure to titillate.”

In only week two, the entire occupancy of the Crab Shack has happily split up into “The Outsiders” and “The Cool Kids” – this is what the grown men and women on this show actually call themselves – not even reluctantly – but with the proud seriousness one might use when referring to themself as “Christ fearing,” or “Post-Op Transsexual.”

The girls in the “Outsiders” fear the “Cool” girls.  This is important for later.

Next up, a good old fashioned pie-eating contest to determine who earns this week’s immunity roses.

The gals were up first, and somehow, this should have been sexier than it was.  I think the editors moved too quickly from “girls eating pie” to “girls returning pie to buckets,” thus severely reducing the hotness factor.  Even the bachelors on the show were turned off.  I was turned off.  Hell, even my cat winced and jumped off the ottoman.  NOT FUN.  What was fun was watching Lunk-head David “Missing Baldwin Brother” clapping his hands through the whole thing and lamely shouting, “Push through it!”  like an eighth grade P.E. coach trying to encourage the asthmatic kid.   

The pie-eating winners are… Gia “I’ve Got a Boyfriend and I Announce it Every Chance I Get” for the women…

Image Credit: Kevin Foley

…and for the men… Weatherman Jonathan… you know Jonathan… that guy whose head you gave a toilet swirlie to during Freshman Year… but by Junior Year you were sort of over it… so you left him alone… unless it was super-easy to trip him in the hallway in between classes and you saw no need to resist the urge… yeah, that guy… he won the pie-eating contest.

By the way… K-R-I-S-I-L-Y (yep, that’s how she spells it) announced that she had her gall bladder out a year ago, and has no way to digest fat, so she has to bow out of the pie-eating contest.

Now, I was once in a group of about 12 people being considered for the final 8 spots on a Sci-Fi Network reality show, and when you get that close to actually appearing, I guarantee that you are put through every kind of physical, blood, urine and mental test imaginable to keep the network clear of any and all liability.

So the idea that no one knew about K-R-I-S-I-L-Y’s gall bladder issue is doubtful (or really, utter bullshit).

But now, K-R-I-S-I-L-Y is worried that her head will be on the chopping block since she didn’t bother to participate in the pie-eating challenge. But I think she’s more in danger of disappearing because the producers have decided to show her looking dowdy on camera.  

Now that we know who’s free and clear, the first “Date Card” arrives.  And I have a question.  Why is it that the bachelor/bachelorette reading the date card ALWAYS does so as if it’s a poem… with big pauses at the end of each line… except it isn’t a poem… week after week… why are they doing this?

“Reveal your true selves… no brushes allowed… which three ladies will be joining you?”

They just end up sounding like a four year old who’s on the verge of comprehending the language on the front of a Pop Tart box.  STOP DOING THIS!

Weatherman Jonathan picks “Grandma Gwen,” Peyton, and Ashley, who thus far I know nothing about other than all three are part of the “Outsider Girls,” and Grandma Gwen looks a little like Stella Stevens (anyone? ANYONE?).

The date is body painting.  See below.  And here comes the Speedo shot.  You’ve been warned.

Out comes Jonathan in the Speedo. Apparently, there was some kind of issue with him and a speedo during his season of The Bachelorette. I couldn’t say I know what this is, but dude… seriously… lay off the Iron Man circuit training.  You need to bulk down!  Take my advice.  I was a “Top 12 ” finalist for a Sci-Fi Network reality show once.

Meanwhile, back at the Crab Shack, there’s an assorted amount of partying from the “Cool” Girls, while the “Outsider” Girls use a lot of words like  ”strategy,” “strategize,” and “strategizing” while wearing little to no make-up and oversized sweatshirts displaying zero cleavage.  So yes, they’d better strategize.

Jonathan and his three “Outsider” Girls agree to bond together and throw out the “Cool” kids, one by one. The name thrown around the most is poor old Kiptyn, which I guess is only fair considering the male-pattern hair loss and Harpo Marx ears he showed off during the pie-eating contest.

Next comes Gia’s date and another clumsy date card reading:

“Love is intense… now it’s time to pick… your date… which three men do you choose?”

Seriously, producers… these date cards need to rhyme, or at least have the same syllable count from one line to the next!!  Next week I do not want to hear, “It’s time to pick… your fantasy date… hurry… before you surpass the time allotted to you!”

The men chosen are Wes, Craig and Jesse Beck. Gia’s dirty trick is to pretend to put every guy’s name on a slip of paper for the final slot, but she actually writes “Jesse Beck” on all of them. The clever minx!  Unfortunately, this date is even more boring than the body-painting. It’s some sort of Moroccan-themed getaway which is bascially nothing more than a colorful tent planted in the middle of a park in downtown L.A… hooray for production value.

Gia swears to Craig “Captain Goldilocks” - up and down – back and forth – here and there – that he is definitely getting her immunity rose, but damn Gia! – she ends up rubbing some lavendar scented oil into the hands of hillbilly Wes, who in response, delivers a romantic soliloquy with the most inspired text of the night:

“Oh my God. That feels good. I love it…. I love it… I’m all… like… basted up. It’s awesome!”

Who could resist?

Now, Gia wants to give the rose to Wes, but she already promised it to Craig. What’s a minx to do?

Oh and by the way… Elizabeth and Kovacs get it on in the shower. We saw a shower curtain, we heard some cooing. 

Also going down at the Crab Shack, David and Jessie S. are having a heart-to-heart in the “Pool of Unidentified Organisms,” and Jessie uses her feminine wilds to play both the “Cools” and the “Outsiders” against each other. That’s a dangerous game for you, little  Jessie S! After all, you’re no Amanda Woodward (anyone? ANYONE?)

Gia ends up giving her immunity rose to Wes, despite her earlier promise to Craig.  Craig and Jesse Beck play it cool.  See them playing cool below.  This is some serious bad news for Craig, who knows the “Cool” chicks want his ass gone.

K-R-I-S-I-L-Y uses Jessie S’s underhanded “double-agent” behavior to save herself from being voted out as a result of the “Gall Bladder Incident” by passing on what she knows about Jessie S. to Kiptyn, in the hopes that he’ll take it back to the “Cool Guys” and they’ll all turn on her.

So the “Outisder Girls” are going to vote Kiptyn out, and the “Cool Girls” are going to vote Craig out.

Chris Harrison returns to prepare the crew for the Rose Ceremony, and for no reason that makes any sense to me, it suddenly all comes down to Nikki. “Who the eff is Nikki,” you ask? She’s the girl who’s had next to zero camera time throughout this mess of an episode. She’s in with the “Outsider Girls,” but a personal friend of Kiptyn, who the “Outsider Girls” want to kick out.

What’s a third string character to do?

Perhaps throwing Nikki’s dilemma in at the end was supposed to be interpreted by the home audience as a “twist,” but because we care nothing about this girl Nikki, it comes off as nothing more than a pleasant distraction from Chris Harrison’s wardrobe, furnished exclusively by 31 Flavors.

In the end, Captian Goldilocks “Craig,” who was effed over by Gia, and Jessie “Two-Timer” S. got the boot. I thought the producers would have found a way to keep Craig around a little longer since he was such an anti-hero, but it was not to be. As for Jessie S., the only thing I recall about her, only five minutes after her being voted off, was that last week someone characterzied her as “bangin’.”  There’s your legacy, Jessie S. Good luck with that G-4 audition!

I don’t know what to do.  Bachelor Pad seems like a desperate, less-compelling version of CBS’S Big Brother, a show I’m already not interested in.  Do I stick with the Pad, in the hopes things will liven up?  Do you have anyone you’re rooting for?  I’ll give it another few weeks, and as long as I can be done posting and in bed by midnight, I won’t worry the way Zach Galligan and Phoebe Cates had to with Gizmo (one last one for the movie geeks – anyone? ANYONE???)