The Bachelor/Bachelorette – “We Remember Those Lost in Seasons Past” Gallery

As Bachelorette fan-favorite and pervert Juan Pablo Galavis prepares to dive into ABC’s reality romance pool Sunday night (a two-parter continuing on Monday), we at TV Food and Drink would like to take a moment to pay tribute to all the brave seekers who’ve fallen in seasons past.  Because of their public humiliations, true love endures.

What would the Bachelor franchise have been without Britt the Food Writer, who stood there and did nothing for half the season before getting tossed off a yacht in the middle of Episode Six?  And remember Blockehad Ryan who took so long to get the clue he was getting dumped by Emily Maynard the show actually had to go to commercial and come back so he could continue reading his “Perfect Woman” list? READ MORE –>

The Voice Recap (NBC) – March 25, 2013

The Voice blind auditions start… now!  First up for Season Four… it’s the Morgan Twins… Cara and Rhian!

Guess What?: They dress alike, they talk alike. Though it turns out, a hot dog does NOT make them lose control.

Guess What Else?: Sometimes they say the same things at the exact same time. When this occurred, host Carson Daly remarked, wide-eyed, “That is so crazy how that happened!” Has this guy never seen any set of twins when they appear on television together? This is the #1 parlor trick of all twins trying to come off as amazing when there’s a camera pointed their way. People across America all took a shot when it happened.  Yet Carson is still trying to get his mouth closed again.

Song Choice: “Fallin'”

Results: All four chairs turned around. Usher looked around and then helpfully held up his hand, “That’s four!” like that purple Romanian mobster puppet from Sesame Street.

Finally: Identical twin singers… big deal. Call me when The Voice books twins conjoined at the head, and one of them performs “Pumped Up Kicks” while the other sings “Do Your Ears Hang Low?” Then I’ll bother to update my DVR.  By the way, while trying to decide which coach they’d go with, the twins whispered back and forth to each other and giggled. Don’t they even have twin telepathy?  These twins suck.  They chose Blake.

And yes, in case you happen to remember them, the Morgan Twins also auditioned for American Idol back in the Paula Abdul days. And they sang the same song. See the video below while you can before NBC has it yanked. Blind Audition #2:  Jess Kellner, a hair stylist from Texas. She loves doing hair but her main passion is music.

Guess What?: Her mom was an alcoholic. How does this figure in? It doesn’t, but Jess really loves her new stepmom, almost as much as she loves making music, but not as much as she loves making corn rows

Song Choice: “Can’t Help Falling in Love”

Results: Chair-turns from Shakira and Usher. She chose Usher

And Finally: Because this is an 8pm show, it’s important to note that Jess’s mom is sober now, and I’m sure she’s thrilled her daughter used a painful and embarrassing fact of her personal life on national television…. and then didn’t even invite her to come along to the auditions.

Blind Audition #3: Mark Andrew, a roofer from Minnesota. He announces that roofing is not something he’d like to do with the rest of his life.  Nationwide, eyeballs fall out of their sockets.

Song choice: “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door”

Results: Adam turned his chair. Shakira turned her chair. Usher looked bored and Blake did the already played out “Will I or Won’t I?” button hover.   Take another shot, America.

Blind Audition #4: Janetza Miranda, the peppy Puerto Rican from Newark, New Jersey. Looks like Rico’s wife from Six Feet Under.

Guess what?: She’s proud of her Puerta Rican heritage.  Doesn’t seem to have much to say about Newark however.

Little Known Fact: Her family all does bird calls! But not those sweet tweety bird kinds. Instead, they do those wild, ear-splitting screechy birds like the kind you see circling the sky in movies where men die trying to cross the desert.

Song Choice: “Titanium”

Performance: Big voice. Her family was going nuts backstage. But midway through, no chairs have turned. Shakira does “the button hover” – drop acid, America.

Results: Zero coaches. Adam runs to hug her. Because unlike American Idol, there are no losers on The Voice, just singers you never hear from again who have to go back and live in New Jersey.

Blake says Janetza deserves to be in the competition, which is  the first thing on Janetza’s “Things I Don’t Want to Hear When I’ve Just Been Told I’m Not Going to be in the Competition, but Thanks Anyway for Not Turning Around, Blake Shelton” List.

Usher gave the, “This is just the beginning for you!” speech.  Roll an eye, America.

Blind Audition #5: Danielle Bradbury, 16 from Cypress, Texas

Teased In Her Youth For: Having crooked teeth. That’s the best she could do? Crooked teeth?  I have an inordinate among of hair on my toe knuckles and I don’t tan. Where’s my teen moment of triumph?

Song Choice: “Mean”

Results: Blake, Adam and Usher turned their chairs. Shakira laid out. There’s a lot of Nashville fiddle in this song, and the girl’s from Texas… so guess who she picked to go with?  They actually went to a commercial break before we found out her decision because we were supposed to be on pins and needles waiting to find out. I am clearly not the target ago demographic for this television show.

May I Say: I thought Janetza Miranda’s voice was far more compelling. Am I alone here? Also, Usher thinks Nashville is a state.

Click through for the rest of tonight’s “The Voice” Recap

“Stars in Danger: The High Dive” (FOX) – Your Top Tweets #StarsInDanger

Some network exec lost at a poker game and as a result we get #StarsInDanger.

Is #StarsInDanger like “Best in Show?” This can’t be for realz. Is Fred Willard gonna pop out?

#starsindanger This is a real show? Unemployed ‘stars’ doing belly flops?”

#starsindanger could very well be the #jarjarbinks of #realitytv

#StarsInDanger Jumping off of a 5ft. diving board? Not Impressed. Reciting their IMDB catolog while being #SetOnFire? Slightly impressed.

If JWoww hits the pool at just the right angle, she will emerge from the water with her old face #StarsInDanger

Commentator: “When JWow, makes her mind up there’s no stopping her.”  JWow: “I’m not going to dive.” #StarsInDanger

JWow: “I can’t perform tonight.” Perform?  It’s diving.  You stand on the end and fall in, and you can’t even do that?  #StarsinDanger

People are congratulating JWoww on twitter… for not doing anything on #StarsInDanger

We gotta brutha and a girl with one arm in a synchronized diving competition. Only in America. #StarsInDager

I don’t understand this #starsindanger show. This is danger? Do Highway Frogger, then we’ll talk.

#starsindanger The only thing that would make this better is if honey boo boo was tossed off the top

Waiting to see the show “Child Stars In Danger” where Casey Anthony babysits them for a weekend. #starsindanger

Click through for more of your Top Tweets from “Stars in Danger: The High Dive”

America’s Got Talent: Goth Opera Singer Andrew De Leon Sings (VIDEO) #AGT

Nineteen-year-old make-up artist and Marilyn Manson fan Andrew De Leon wowed the judges and the crowd last night on America’s Got Talent.  After an hour filled with inflatable skipping pillow people and obese belly dancers, Andrew took to the stage as the final act of the night and stole the entire show with his flawless and completely unexpected operatic performance.

In response to the thunderous applause and standing ovation from judges Howard Stern, Sharon Osbourne and Howie Mandel, Andrew had only this to say: “I’m just so used to being rejected and I’m not really good at anything, so this is amazing.”
When asked by Stern if he’d ever performed in front of a crowd this big, Andrew shared that he’d never sung in front of anyone at all, including his own family. Said Stern, “And yet… you got up here and blew the roof of this joint!
See for yourself.  Check out Andrew De Leon’s inaugural television performance below.  It’s certain not to be his last.

Check out Andrew De Leon’s goth-opera performance on America’s Got Talent here

America’s Got Talent: June 5, 2012 – Your Top Tweets #AGT

Prince philip had the right idea. He’s in bed watching #AGT

Gothic opera singer? Now I’ve seen it all. #agt

goth kid on #agt killed itttttt

Holy fucksticle, talk about a voice that doesn’t match his appearance #AGT #shitcray

HOLY SHIT THIS ANDREW GUY ON #AGT I did NOT expect that omg. Criss Angel singing opera omg.

Blah. This Marilyn Manson wannabe. #AGT

Adam Lambert 2.0 on #AGT right now.

There is going to be a showdown between emo opera singer and stuttering cowboy. EPIC. #AGT


Goth guy singing amazing opera #AGT

Ummmm this goth dude is #SusanBoilin’ that sh^t on #AGT… I don’t really know how I feel about this…?

Tune in to America’s Got Talent for like 2 seconds and some goth guy surprises me with opera #inshock #AGT

his voice is like a combination of fergie and jesus! #agt

#AndrewDeLeon is the official #agt Twitter winner tonight – he just lit it up!

Andrew De Leon on Americas Got Talent completely blew my socks off. He blew them off so hard that I’m forced to use crap metaphors! #agt

Best lightshow ever… where’s the ecstasy? #AGT

I was convinced the light painters were going to be laughable crap. And then it was kind of cool. #AGT

Howard Stern: I’ve never seen anything like it! My Mom: How could you, you’ve been staring at tits for 30 years! #AGT

da fuck?#AGT

It’s four rejected Liddsville characters on #agt

“If Garbage pail kids went to rehab…” tonight on  #agt

#agt fucking giant pillow people

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