Dancing with the Stars Recap: May 9, 2011

Lock these knees, throw up the cat hands and say it with me, people… it’s… INSTANT DANCE!

Scream it… INSTANT DANCE!

Now kiss it. Lick it!

Get on your couch and jump up and down like I am right now. Come on… FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IT’S INSTANT DANCE!

But it’s not really instant dance, you know.

Dancing with the Stars very cleverly tucked away the fact that the remaining couples all know well in advance what style of dance they have to perform. They only thing they find out last minute is the particular song to which they’ll have to perform it.

I hope I didn’t bust your Monday night TV viewing bubble. I’m just keeping it real, the way Nene Leakes used to on Celebrity Apprentice, yo?

Sure, the dances still have to be performed well, but I think the show really plays up the INSTANT element way too much. It’s not like Len is barking out different dance styles from the judge’s table and the couples have to immediately morph from samba to paso doble to disco to waltz to the electric slide. That would be truly awesome train wreck viewing. Kirstie Alley’s head might just literally pop on national television! But it’s just not to be.

So while it’s still a lot of fun to run up to your neighbors and scare them in the hallway by screaming out “INSTANT DANCE!” then making your escape straight down the garbage chute before they know what hit them, the urgency is not as appropriate as the producers of Dancing with the Stars are trying to trick you into believing.

Now, on to the dancing.

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