It’s Not the Super Bowl. It’s Chef Chiara! The Future of Food Network.

Five reasons why this kid is the real deal:

1.) Knows to cross from table to stove without breaking face from camera.  Not an easy talent to foster.
2.) Just like every chef host currently employed at Food Network, starts every sentence of instruction with the maddeningly condescending, “What you wanna do is…”
3.) Recognizes when it’s okay to give herself some major kitchen props (“My chopping skills are REALLY good!”).
4.) Recruits her best fans to be her audience (Note how Betsy Wetsy is so riveted by the proceedings, she doesn’t even notice the full baba staring her in the face).
5.) Already has her own catch phrase – “Tune in too-mah-woh!”

It’s true that little Chef Chiara might need to work on withholding reaction when her producer instructs her to throw to commercial, but this is a minor detail sure to worked out before her first weekend marathon.  Enjoy the birth of a future superstar.  And remember what website gave her her first big break!

Watch Chef Chiara’s Debut Performance

The Bachelor 16-4: January 23, 2012 – Your Top Tweets

Mild retardation goes widely undiagnosed amongst moderately attractive people. #Bachelor

Get Glue needs to offer a “No matter what anyone else says, I’ll keep watching this season of #Bachelor” sticker

Settling down with the bride to watch stupid women cry over some bloke they don’t know #bachelor @chrisbharrison #qualityentertainment

#Bachelor I’m already more attracted to Park City than any actual person on this show

#bachelor – again, these chicks are so crazy, they make Coupon Suzy look like good marriage material

#bachelor = chicks getting drunk and saying nasty things about each other. In the real world it’s called “girls night”

This mountain air is doing wonders for Ben’s greasy hair. #boringben #bachelor

“I think Ben will be happy when I say something to him.” – Someone who’s about to make a big mistake. #Bachelor

Is “fashion sales rep” the same as “annoying girl who forcibly sprays you with cologne when you’re walking through Macy’s to get to the food court?” #Bachelor

When the highlight of the date is “that’s a beaver dam,” it’s time to see what arrived from Netflix  #bachelor”

Read All of the Top Tweets from Tonight’s Park City Episode of “The Bachelor”

The Kitchen is Broken! The Top 10 Tv Food and Drink for 2012

Tv Food and Drink’s Central Nervous System has gone into the shop for graphics card repairs. We should be back at full power in time for the 1/23/12 episode of The Bachelor. Until then, please feel free to wander down memory lane with my top 10 articles of 2012 (so far), including Bachelor, Celebrity Apprentice, Dancing with the Stars, cookies, arsonists, hot dogs, pizza and Sarah Michelle Gellar’s visit to Alcoholics Anonymous!

1.) Bachelor 16-1 Recap: Winemaker Ben “Sloppylocks” Flajnik Seeks SWF to Help Squeeze His Grapes

2.) Nacho Dogs

3.) Celebrity Apprentice: Are you becoming more and more curious to see what Lil John looks like without those stupid glasses?

4.) Watching: Ringer: Pilot (The CW)

5.) Five Things I Learned From the Hollywood Arsonist OR “Cornmeal Thyme Cookies”

6.) Tv Food and Drink: Podcast #1 Featuring Sammy Davis Jr, Ann-Margret and Frank Sinatra

7.) Chipotle Chicken and Apple Pizza

8.) Dancing with the Stars: Nancy Grace Nipple Slip Twitter-Cap

9.) The Bachelor 15-5: Brad Womack and the Two We Know Are Gonna Be in the Finals

10.) Portobello Buffalo Burgers

The Bachelor 16-2: January 9, 2012 – Your Top Tweets

I play a fun #Bachelor drinking game. I watch the show and I drink wine whenever I feel like it.

How do these girls talk about being in love after 1 day? Ive been married 2 my husband for 4yrs & I’m still on the fence about him #bachelor

#bachelor… Run Ben Run!

My son just came in & wanted to see if #PBS #Nova Egypt’s Golden Empire or Fabric of the Cosmos are on tonight. But I’m watching #Bachelor.

if that slut girl with the bad earrings doesn’t get kicked off next week I’m going to be pissed. #bachelor

The insanity of this show can only be matched by size 6 Jennifer Hudson singing while accompanied by size 16 Jennifer Hudson #Bachelor

Ben hugs beautiful women like we hug that creepy uncle at Thanksgiving. #boringben #bachelor
Click Here for the rest of the Top Tweets from tonight’s Sonoma Play Adventure

Bachelor 16-1 Recap: Winemaker Ben “Sloppylocks” Flajnik Seeks SWF to Help Squeeze His Grapes

Was Ben Flajnik really the best choice for this season’s Bachelor?  On the one hand, he certainly deserves a second shot after having his heart crushed by Ashley on last season’s Bachelorette.  On the other hand, the guy demonstrates about as much charisma and passion as that old Ace of Base T-shirt we all have hanging up in our closet and refuse to throw away just in case we have to paint the garage one day.

There’s really not that much to say about old Ben, though he should at least be given some props for refusing to give up on that Sloppylocks hairstyle.  Clearly, the man let his subscription to Variety expire or else he would have known that the The Prince of Persia flopped at the box office.  Apparently ABC is planning on getting a lot of mileage out of mild-mannered Ben’s reaction shots to the 25 cray-crays who make up this season’s Crab Shack roomies.

So without further delay… let’s meet the ladies.  Which ones suffer from body dysmorphic disorder?  Who’s most likely to be the first to yack into the jacuzzi?  Who spells their name with a “double e” when a “y” would be perfectly acceptable?

And what’s with Grandma?

All your questions are about to be answered.

Continue reading “Bachelor 16-1 Recap: Winemaker Ben “Sloppylocks” Flajnik Seeks SWF to Help Squeeze His Grapes” »

The Bachelor 16-1: January 2, 2012 – Your Top Tweets

Great…12 weeks of lying to all my friends about how I don’t watch #Bachelor begins tonight.

It has come to my attention that the claws are coming out. #bachelor

How is it possible that there’s 2 chicks named Kacie on this show? #boringben #bachelor

The #bachelor host is the real creeper in this franchise

A man’s worst nightmare would be getting stuck in a room with 25 chicks who want to marry him. #Bachelor

I can’t be certain, but I think some of these ladies are in the adult film industry. #Bachelor

Are bangs back? Please say no. #bachelor

Does walmart have a #Bachelor fashion section? #gongshow

#Bachelor – Chris just said Ben’s last name – I FINALLY KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE IT!!!

#bachelor – I’m fairly certain the last book any of these people read had a little mouse for a protagonist

#bachelor – all new drama, same bad hair

This guy has the personality of a stew-pot. #bachelor

This season on the #Bachelor: Ben dies in a helecopter crash in episode two. Constantine fills in. Nobody notices.

Continue reading “The Bachelor 16-1: January 2, 2012 – Your Top Tweets” »

Dancing with the Stars: November 21, 2011 – VIDEO – Is Rob Kardashian Going to Win It All?

If Dancing with the Stars were the ongoing battle for the lead in the 2012 Republican presidential nomination, Rob Kardashian would be the Newt Gingrich

Like an Armenian tortoise with a degree from USC and a booty that can ride two zip codes at once, Rob Kardashian has snuck up on this season’s DWTS competition without much of a notice, and looks poised for a possible upset victory tomorrow night.

Check out his freestyle performance below (his score is there as well for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet.

Continue reading “Dancing with the Stars: November 21, 2011 – VIDEO – Is Rob Kardashian Going to Win It All?” »

Jennifer Lopez Pimps for Fiat on The AMAs – VIDEO

If you look very very carefully, you might just catch the product placement in J-Lo’s performance.

And I remember thinking how out of control it was back in 1986 when Wang Chung dared to include their own name in  ”Everybody Have Fun Tonight.” How far we’ve come.

Had the Fiat just rolled onto stage at the end and whisked her off, I don’t think I would have felt so dirty for having tuned in. But when a car that looks like a big toe on wheels comes off cooler in the performance than the person actually performing, everyone should be worried.

Video below.  And right now, somewhere in Hollywood, a network executive is sitting on their couch, working up a preliminary budget for the next big television phenomenon: Dancing with the Datsuns.

Thanks J-Lo.
Continue reading “Jennifer Lopez Pimps for Fiat on The AMAs – VIDEO” »