Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics: Opening Ceremonies – Your Top Tweets

Damn you #WinterOlympics – Everyone is so bundled I can’t tell who’s a scruffy hot guy and who’s a lesbian!

I wonder if Sarah Palin is watching the #OpeningCeremony from her backyard #Russia #WinterOlympics

Will live-tweeting about an event that ended 8 hours ago punch a hole in the space-time continuum? #WinterOlympics #OpeningCeremony

If 007 doesn’t parachute out a plane with Putin, these ceremonies are a bust. #WinterOlympics #ParadeOfNations

If it weren’t for the #WinterOlympics and the #SuperBowI, kids wouldn’t know what Roman numerals were!

If they put Putin on that old game show “Make Me Laugh” he’d hella clean up! #WinterOlypmics

Every Olympics sneaks in one fake country. This year it’s “NillaWafer!”

Russia wins gold in pounding vodka #WinterOlympics

All the (male) American Olympians look like the bad guys in high school underdog movies. #WinterOlympics #Biff #Chet

Do those little dancing marshmallows have to hop around through the entire parade of nations? #WinterOlympics

Argentina has no snow. They just came for international sex. #WinterOlympics

Well Ireland looks a little drab, but luckily they brought Judy Jetson with them to jazz it up. #WinterOlympics

I’ll forgive Russia for their intolerance if they forgive us for the endless Jimmy Fallon commercials. #WinterOlympics

“Great Britain is believed to be the birthplace of curling… but we can’t be sure cuz none of them will cop to it” Matt Lauer #WinterOlympics

We are red, we are white, we are Danish dy-no-mite #WinterOlympics

Only in the #WinterOlympics can you be 43 years old and qualify for an event. Congrats, one dude from Venezuela!

Oh dear… Germany looks like a tribe of marching everlasting gobstoppers #WinterOlympics

The guy announcing the countries sounds like the guy who announces the performances on #DancingWithTheStars #WinterOlympics

There are more people on my sofa than there are athletes representing Zimbabwe. #WinterOlympics

All my life, the #WinterOlympics have been closely linked with pizza. This is but one small reason why I have yet to qualify for an event.

My favorite tweet tonight about the opening ceremonies: “It’s crazy how people live all over the world!” #WinterOlympics

If you’re a Winter Olympian, you can compete in like 13 #WinterOlympics in a row and win gold in all of ’em

#WinterOlympics tweets aren’t as funny as #Bachelorette tweets

Those dancing marshmallow people look like they’re starting to run outta steam. #WinterOlympics

Matt Lauer’s commentary is not great. Next time let’s let Siri do it. #WinterOlympics

I feel so lame… these athletes work so hard and I’m debating whether or not to get off the couch and buy tickets to the #LegoMovie #WinterOlympics

Only during the opening ceremonies would your feed include the tweet, “OMG Poland is sooooo adorable!” #WinterOlympics

Oh USA those sweaters… It’s like someone raided the Palin closet #WinterOlympics

That USA sweater is gonna be a hot fashion item, and then it will be tomorrow. #WinterOlympics

Yipers someone tell USA that ugly sweater parties are only for Christmas time. #WinterOlympics

Hey I didn’t know Team USA had their sweaters designed by my nana. #WinterOlympics

#WinterOlympics US wins the first gold in the new ugly sweater competition. #WinterOlympics

What the fuck are we wearing? We suck. #WinterOlympics

imageIs Djibouti in the #WinterOlympics. I want to make a “shake shake shake my Djibouti” joke

Watching foreigners go ape shit over their country is like watching grandma go on and on about a soap opera you don’t watch #WinterOlympics

the official Olympic Twitter feed just favorited one of my tweets, which is odd because it was making fun of Djibouti #WinterOlympics

One of the little marshmallow dancers just died. #WinterOlympics

My bf just asked “who’s winning?” but don’t listen to him. When #Bachelor is on he asks “when does he say You’re fired! #WinterOlympics

Seriously, #WinterOlympics, some of your events… “Sloppy Joe Eating” “Synchronized Sneezing” and “Plinko!” really need to be retired.

Help me get #NBCCommentatorsShutTheFuckUp to trend And maybe we’ll have some quiet by the #ClosingCeremonies #WinterOlympics #ItsADream

Geez we’re only up to the 20th century? These opening ceremonies are longer than #TheSoundOfMusicLive #WinterOlympics

This portion of the Opening Ceremonies is brought to you by Ronald Reagan’s worst nightmare. #WinterOlympics

And now our next period in Russian history celebrates the rise of the mail order bride! #WinterOlympics

imageGAYEST. OPENING. CEREMONY. EVER. #WinterOlympics #Sochi

Cue Olivia Newton John onto the ice in three…two…one… #WinterOlympics meets #Xanadu

Welcome to Day 11 of the Sochi ‪#‎WinterOlympics‬… the Opening Ceremonies are just about to come to a close. My God the pageantry!

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