The 2014 Golden Globe Awards – Your Top Tweets #GoldenGlobes

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i bet #GoldenGlobes would make great bongs.

I bet Bono has better cocaine than anyone else at the show. #GoldenGlobes

If I could win an award while drinking a martini and making out with Bono with my shoes off, my life would be made. #GoldenGlobes

Justice for the flawless Amy Poehler! #GoldenGlobes

What I’ve learned watching #GoldenGlobes2014 – I need to say “my team” more.

Well there’s Bono… still trying to make that look work. #goldenglobes.

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Why do entertainment mags on Twitter post winners the MOMENT they happen, like there aren’t 9 million of us doing it along w/them. #goldenglobes

August Osage County is this year’s Les Miserables – no one knows quite how to say it right – #goldenglobes

Three minutes in and everyone has already gotten a shout-out for their part in the #GoldenGlobes except Spanx and Stoli.

There haven’t already been a hundred and ten shots of George Clooney, so I’m assuming he is not attending the #GoldenGlobes this year

Did Tina fey get hip implants? Is that a thing? #GoldenGlobes

Oh Jennifer Lawrence… you can only play perky for so long, before you become Zoooey Deschanel. #GoldenGlobes

Jennifer Lawrence – now is she David O Russell’s agent? If not, he should consider her. #GoldenGLobes

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Good lord, I fell asleep, woke up and had another birthday before Jacqueline Bisset got to the stage. Who put her at table 1045? #goldenglobes

Sit these fuckers closer! The parking lot attendant could have gotten to the podium faster that Jacqueline Bisset. #GoldenGlobes

Jacqueline Bisset’s speech is giving Jodie Foster’s last year a run for its money. #GoldenGLobes

Never drink your face off until you’ve either won or lost in your category. #JacquelineBisset #GoldenGlobes

Thanks to Jacqueline Bisset, the SuperBowl has been pushed into March. #GoldenGlobes.

I have better seats than Jacqueline Bisset and I’m at home in Studio City. #goldenGlobes

This is more awkward that anything Lena Dunham could ever hope to achieve on #Girls. #GoldenGlobes #avctv #Bisset

Jacqueline Bisset had to walk to the stage all the way from France #GoldenGlobes

Helena Bonhan Carter was gonna show up to the #GoldenGlobes but her hair didn’t turn out creepy-weird enough.

“This year marks the 40th anniversary of the mini-series.” And we still haven’t figured out how to fucking get rid of ’em. #GoldenGLobes

If Matt Damon was my garbage man I would be much more inclined to take the trash out instead of making my husband do it #GoldenGlobes

Jacqueline Bisset has won Twitter. #GoldenGlobes

Watching J. Bisset just reminded me I need to deep condition my hair. #GoldenGlobes

I want to meet Jacqueline Bisset’s pharmacist. #GoldenGlobes

Jacqueline Bisset and Jodie Foster in “12 Years a Speech.” #GoldenGlobes

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oooh Paula Patton… who are you and how did you get your hands on Buck Rogers’ bathrobe? #GoldenGlobes

Dear Jesus….Paula Patton….NO. #GoldenGlobes

Who wore it better.. Paula Patton or Princess Amidala when she was in the hospital for that appendectomy? #GoldenGlobes

Did Paula Patton get attacked by whipped cream? #goldenglobes

Who is Paula Patton and why is she wearing a cloud? #GoldenGlobes

Twitter serves important purpose during the #GoldenGlobes- it gives us all something to do as the winners climb & scratch their way to stage

I can’t wait for someone to just yell “throw it to me” instead of making the long & treacherous walk down to the stage #GoldenGlobes

so Sean Combs is now an actor-producer and Usher is now Usher Raymond the Fourth… so we can sleep tonight. #goldenglobes

This show needs a giant hook ready for crap speeches #goldenGlobes

They need to wire these nominees with headsets so they can start their speeches while making the long trek to the staircase. #GoldenGlobes

I think they made up a movie just they could pretend Taylor Swift wrote a song for it and nominate her so she’d come. #GoldenGlobes

Jon Voight… Jacqueline Bisset… is it 1975? Where is Slim Pickens? #GoldenGLobes

“HER” – Winner of the #GoldenGlobe for “Most Talked About by Yuppies Who Haven’t Seen It But Are Totally Going to.”

DAMN! Angela Bassett wakes up in the morning looking mad hot and I wake up looking like Totie Fields. #GoldenGlobes

Seriously – Look! Jared Leto’s hair bun actually looks like a GoldenGlobe. #GoldenGlobes

If we stitch together everyone’s #goldenGlobes speech tonight… we will get a halfway decent speech from the People’s Choice Awards

You know your awards show is in trouble when Giuliana Rancic’s credit card commercial is the most elegant speech of the night. #GoldenGlobes

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Emma Thompson, my queen, with her shoes in one hand and her martini in the other. #GoldenGlobes2014

Emma Thompson. Wasted. Yet amazing. #goldenglobes2014

Emma Thompson drunking it like it is. #GoldenGlobes

I.Fucking.Love.Emma.Thompson. #GoldenGlobes

#GoldenGlobes Emma Thompson needs to be in charge of all the things

You know Emma Thompson is always DTF. #GoldenGlobes

Who is producing this show tonight… is it too late to have Emma Thompson do it? #GoldenGlobes

Oh I’m torn… do I want DENMARK to win, or do I want IRAN to win… or do I want to go and pee? #GoldenGlobes

Best Foreign Film… Twitter falls asleep. #GoldenGlobes #WeAreSelfInvolved

Liam Neeson is only allowed to be in movies with one-word titles now. #GoldenGlobes

Ben Affleck is drunk. #GoldenGlobes

“and the goden gode gloes to….” Have another wine cooler, Ben. #GoldenGlobes

Alfonso Cuaron is speaking better English than Ben Affleck right now. #GoldenGlobes

My boyfriend is doing a victory dance and going, “Blarg! Blarg! Blarg! Blarg!” all around the house for #BrooklyNineNine #GoldenGlobes

Boyfriend: “I told you! Brooklyn Nine Nine!”
Me: “I don’t care. It is NOT funny!”
Boyfriend: “You’re just not watching it from the right perspective.”
Me: “You mean awake?”
#GoldenGlobes

It’s just not the same when Jennifer Lawrence doesn’t trip and fall. She set the bar too high too early in the career. #GoldenGlobes

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Here comes Cate Blanchett for the win! #GoldenGlobes

Seriously Today Show Twitter, we know Cate Blanchett won. You’re not providing a service. We’re all posting it too. #GoldenGlobes

Baha Only Cate Blanchett could make a Judy Garland addict joke and be delightful. #GoldenGlobes

WAIT, two black men were nominated in the same category? Is that even allowed? #GoldenGlobes

The #GoldenGlobes may be ready to forgive Matthew for The Wedding Planner, Fools Gold, How to Lose a Guy, and Failure to Launch but not me.

Matthew McConaughey does the best impression of Matthew McConaughey. #GoldenGlobes

In 40 minutes, Matthew McConaughey’s Golden Globe will be packed with the best bud in town #GoldenGlobes

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If I tell my mom, “Steve McQueen just won a Golden Globe” she would be soooo totally confused! #GoldenGlobes

Pan up to a big ugly chandelier! It’s over. #GoldenGlobes

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