A finale can be “exciting” or it can be “three hours,” but it can’t be both #Bachelor
Chris Harrison is a sadist. #Bachelor
Chris Harrison is the definition of a third wheel #Bachelor
Calling the 3 hour #bachelor finale “historic” seems a bit much. The wall coming down was historic. 3 hrs of bachelor is just tedious.
The #Bachelor sends the message that you should meet your spouse on TV. Call me old-fashioned, but the place to do that is the Internet.
The loser of #bachelor should be punished. Make her watch them get married-front row
I can smell the desperation through the screen. #bachelor
I always cry during #Bachelor. Of course, I always cry when I hear “the touch, the feel… of cotton” commercial jingle, so maybe it’s me.
No Chris… Only the fat chicks are on the edge of their seats #bachelor
Is it just my TV or does everyone on the #Bachelor have huge hands?
“I have a hard time talking about serious things” – girl who thinks she’s ready for marriage #bachelor
It’s no fun with #Bachelor without my cousin. Bitter women who’ve been divorced twice just bring that extra zing to the proceedings!
Every Monday night when I go to bed I have nightmares where I’m chased by white teeth and giant tubes of body glitter. Thank you #Bachelor
Headlines Tomorrow: Tierra’s expecting Sean’s sparkle baby #Bachelor
Even Neil Lane doesn’t have a ring that compares to Tierra’s sparkle #bachelor
The #Bachelor makes me wish I still smoked weed.
Catherine’s eyebrows and Sean’s mom’s eyebrows are the most compatible #Bachelor
Lindsay shows the same amount of enthusiasm over everything. “OH MY GOD, I love Sean!” “OH MY GOD, we’re having corn dogs!” #bachelor
Is Lindsay drunk? Only drunk girls and pre-schoolers act like that. #Bachelor
Lindsay is like my knock-off shoes. They look good but you know inside it’s all sawdust and water-paste. #Bachelor come on!
Lindsay is a substitute teacher… something as necessary to the world as a bisexual #Bachelor
Does Sean realize if he picks Lindsey that means he is also picking Lindsey’s voice? #Bachelor #princessprobz
Oh Lindsay, in what world does baby talk get you anywhere?… oh yeah, this world. #Bachelor
Lindsey is a horny midget. #Bachelor
Wow Sean’s dad is asking some good questions. Can he be the next #Bachelor?
Get Sean’s dad his own talk show…stat. I feel he could lead me to living my best life. #Bachelor
Praying for your son’s marriage and then having him find his wife on the Bachelor must be crazy holy. #Bachelor #cleverbachelor
Now Sean’s mom is crying? Geez, what do they pay these people? If my mom was on #Bachelor she’d make the producers cry
Sean’s mom says, “it’s not like you have to propose,” Sean’s contract begs to differ. #Bachelor
Sean’s mom needs to realize that when ABC gives you a $10,000 Neil Lane ring and says “Propose, monkey!”, you do it. #sixpacksean #bachelor
If a girl ever says she doesn’t know what she’d do if she lost you, run – that bitch is crazy! #sixpacksean #bachelor
Lindsay is sending up some stupid wish lantern. Chris Harrison does that every season… but still no talk show #bachelor
Geez more lanterns? If I had a joint for every lantern I’ve seen this season… well, I’d just be really stoned, that’s all #Bachelor
If you were sending up a wish lantern on the #Bachelor wouldn’t one of your wishes be to win? #AndAnSTDFreeLife
At least Lindsay didn’t give him a macrame photo of her dog. #AlwaysAnUpside #Bachelor
thery’re in a sack riding an elephant… there’s one for the grandkids. #Bachelor
“I’m excited for our future… and I smell like an elephant.” #Bachelor
ABC needs to get it together. Quit making these poor girls walk over wooden bridges in high heals. You’re asking for a lawsuit. #bachelor
I hate Lindsay’s dress so much that I want to set it on fire. #Bachelor
oh dear Lindsay: you should not wear a halter, particularly made of heavy fabric, if you have no boobs. #sorry #hadtobesaid #bachelor
First out of the truck… Lindsay! Do you still have the receipt for that Pier One Love Lantern? #bachelor
Good.. he’s not gonna propose to her. I hate that little door stop. #Bachelor
I wait ten weeks just to see the #Bachelor runner-up get the hook in close-up!
You can’t tell a girl you love her then dump her #bachelor
If they made Lindsay leave on an elephant while she cried, I’d promise ABC to watch this show for eternity! #Bachelor
Calling someone an ‘incredible person’ is another way of saying ‘I’m not in love with you.’ #bachelor
“Well, I’m gonna go” is the most hilarious thing Lindsay could say in such an awkward, wince-worthy moment. Why do they do this? #bachelor
Lindsay should get a “Runner Up” ring. Something made of teflon. #Bachelor
Catherine will love him long time #bachelor
Nothing screams ROMANCE like proposing in the middle of a rice paddy that smells like that elephants shit! #bachelor #love
CATHERINES NOSE IS FLARING OUT OF CONTROL! #bachelor
#bachelor Oh dear… Catherine’s nostrils are trying to escape!
Wow… that lady’s nostris are doing the Harlem Shake! #Bachelor
I’m watching The #Bachelor for the first time ever. It is a bad show.
Chalk one up for the Asians!! #bachelor
Wish hot men would propose to me with an elephant after months of unnecessary drama D: #TheBachelor #Bachelor #love #foreveralone
Congrats to Catherine! My condolences to feminism. #Bachelor