For those of you who weren’t around in the early 1980s when daytime soaps were at their indisputable peak, The Afternoon Delights are ready to catch you up with their 1981 novelty song re-capping the happenings on the King of All Soaps, General Hospital.
My introduction to this show involved a pre-Robin Mattson Heather Webber dropping LSD into Diana Taylor’s iced tea as part of her plan to drive Diana to the mental ward and claim for her own Diana’s baby, who was actually Heather’s biological child sold months earlier on the black market. What Heather didn’t know was that the lazy susan the identical iced teas were sitting on was accidentally turned on when she wasn’t looking, and poor Heather ended up dosing herself. My mind exploded at the idea that this is what grown-ups got to do with their time. It explains a lot about my own personal life choices as an adult, but that’s a topic for another post.
The song chronicles the story lines happening in Port Charles post “Luke Rapes Laura at the Campus Disco” and pre “Remote Island Housing Evil Machine That Will Freeze the World” (as indicated by the line,“How it ends up nobody knows!”)
My favorite lyric in the song has to be “Alan was the father… of course. And he won’t give Monica… a divorce!” That’s followed closely by, “Amy Vining likes to blab… Richard Simmons helps fight flab!”
The bad rap and the slutty horn section just add to the fun.
Click through to hear the song for yourself