I forgot to get dessert for the #OpeningCeremonies. Luckily, I have peanut butter and baker’s chocolate. Let the games begin, fuckers!

“Yo London, Imma let you finish, but Beijing had the best #openingceremonies of all time.”

#OpeningCeremonies  Would anyone notice if they added a fake country to the parade… like Newfartandstand?

god I hate the way British people talk #OpeningCeremonies

Needs more Monty Python #openingceremonies

There has been an underwhelming number of Spice Girls appearances thus far. #London2012 #OpeningCeremonies #WhatIReallyReallyWant

Princess Di hologram for the #OpeningCeremonies at the #olympics. I’m calling it.

help us, Hologram John Lennon and Hologram George Harrison. you’re our only hope. #OpeningCeremonies

“there’s the queen cheering wildly.” I’m pretty sure that’s not what we’re seeing
#openingceremonies

And by “there’s the queen, cheering wildly,” they mean “and there’s the queen, standing quietly and calmly.” #openingceremonies #London2012

“Here’s the Queen, cheering wildly for Great Britain.” Sure, let’s go with that. #OpeningCeremonies

The Queen looked utterly bored! Haha! My bf says she’s thinking “It’s past my bedtime & I missed Golden Girls! Dammit!” #openingceremonies

Now they’re apparently doing an affectionate “Tribute to Pollution & Black Lung”. #Olympics #OpeningCeremonies

#openingceremony #openingceremonies They’re making it smell like sulfur in the stadium. First Mr. Bean… now this. Go England!

I like how they consider the sulfer smell in the Olympic stadium to be a bonus. #openingceremonies

#openingceremonies Dancing nannies and kids jumping on beds as entertainment – what is wrong with British people?

I’m disappointed not one of those bed-ridden kids spewed pea soup or spun their head around #tubularbells #openingceremonies

Holy shit! It’s raining Julie Andrews! #openingCeremonies

That awkward moment when it took Harry Potter 7 long books to beat Voldemort… and Mary Poppins did it in 2 minutes. #OpeningCeremonies

Mary Poppins is practically perfect in every way – but that inflatable baby is way sick #oopeningceremonies

Quit bragging about all your musical geniuses, Britain. We invented Hanson. #TEAMUSA #OpeningCeremonies #London2012

#openingceremonies hey who’s leading Afghanistan – he’s cute!

“Albania has never won an Olympic medal.”  Is that a set-up or a punch line?  #openingceremonies

Here comes American Samoa! Oh wait, no. it’s just 80s pop band The Jets #openingceremonies

There’s a place called Andora?  #OpeningCeremonies

oh dear – Angola’s outfits looks distrubing close to Aunt Jemima’s – #openingceremonies

Hello Markus Rogan! How do I get to Austria? #OpeningCeremonies

I love how NBC skips over the boring countries  #Olympics #OpeningCeremonies

Doesn’t #Bhuntan mean something bad in Italian? #OpeningCeremonies

When I saw Bhutan at the #OpeningCeremonies, I remembered when Andy Bernard said “it’s on like wearing Sean Jean in Bhutan!”. #TheOffice

Rock on Cameroon! #OpeningCeremonies http://t.co/8yEr2N7b

I want to go to Chad.  I never go anywhere. #OpeningCeremonies

Where can I get a pair of Czech Republic rain boots? #OpeningCeremonies

OK, Czech Republic, your footwear stylist, we need to have a chat #OpeningCeremonies

D-J-I-B-O-U-T-I spells Djibouti!!!  #OpeningCeremonies

Every 4 years we get to shake-shake-shake our #Djibouti jokes. #Olympics2012 #OpeningCeremonies

Next fuckable country… Dominican Republic! #OpeningCeremonies

There’s too many countries – we need to go to war more  #OpeningCeremonies

Christ and I thought It’s a Small World was long.   #OpeningCeremonies

Wait we have Independent Olympic Athletes?  Are they freelance?  Do they train from Starbucks during the week?

GO INDEPENDENT OLYMPIC ATHLETES!!!! #bestgroupever #2012Olympics #openingceremonies

I love the independent athletes.  They look like they only ones having any fun. #openingceremonies

Independent athletes are high #paradeofnations #openingceremonies

You know who should narrate the #OpeningCeremonies? Statler & Waldorf.

Here’s Japan…. and no giant robots. Buckets of fail. #OpeningCeremonies

I swear some of these countries are made up.  I fully expect to hear “Park Place!” and “Fraggle Rock!” at any moment  #OpeningCeremonies

This #OpeningCeremonies needs four judges in chairs that rotate

LOSE.  Moldova got the shaft for a WalMart commercial  #OpeningCeremonies

This Olympics  #OpeningCeremonies needs the San Diego chicken running around and doing the cabbage patch

#OpeningCeremonies needs more COWBELL

psst… between you and me, Nigeria will send you a gold medal if you wire them $10,000 from your bank account #OpeningCeremonies

Saint Kittis and Nevis?  St Vincent & the Grenadines?  Sao Tome & Principe?  Now NBC is just making shit up.   #OpeningCeremonies

Every guy from Spain is hot but one… can you guess who?  #OpeningCEremonies

Dude from Spain has pink hair #openingCeremonies

I didn’t know Niki Minaj was from Spain #OpeningCeremonies

Does the whole Swedish olympic team work at the Gap? #openingceremonies

“Stanislas” is such a cool name… then you get nicknamed “Stan” and it all goes to shit #openingceremonies

“Even in Syria… I don’t get no respect…”

WHAT THE HELL ARE WE WEARING? #openingceremonies

According to my dad, the US athletes looked like “security guards at Target.” #OpeningCeremonies

@RalphLauren make the #UnitedStates #outfits in #china. #fail

“We’re USA… of course we don’t make our own #openingCeremonies clothing.  Have you met us?”

The US is the only team who takes photos of themselves. :/ Just saying. #OpeningCeremonies

Poor Uruguay – like the guy in the circus who has to follow behind the giant elephants #openingceremonies

Yemen, I’m in love with your flag holder. #Olympics #OpeningCeremonies

Brace yourselves everyone…Zambia is coming up !!!!! #OpeningCeremonies

Great Britain’s entrance was seriously #epic. #Olympics #OpeningCeremonies

The British outfits have gold pit stains. #WTF #openingceremonies

All the countries were done in record time? Holy shit how long did other Olympics take? #OpeningCeremonies

You know you’re legit when you have 3 generations from all over the world singing in unison. #McCartney #OpeningCeremonies

For anyone who missed the #OpeningCeremonies don’t be upset. It sucked. #Olympics2012

I missed a rerun of Shark Tank for this? #OpeningCeremonies

#OpeningCeremonies ends w/ the Queen locks everyone up in the stadium and says: Happy Hunger Games!

Due to overwhelming request, NBC will replay the Beijing #OpeningCeremonies immediately following whatever this is.