Super-soap Dallas returns to television this coming Wednesday with a ten episode run with Episode #1 premiering on TNT at 9pm, (Episode #2 follows immediately at 10:15). But if you’re too young, or too old to remember who’s who in the back-stabbing, double-dealing, alcoholic, shoot ‘em up Ewing family, here’s your chance to catch up before the first few bars of the famous theme song that rumbled out of television sets across the globe in the 1980s begins its second reign.

Click the video below for a 6 minute recap of the ties that bind this Texas family together. And if anyone knows how I might be able to bag that Ewing family tree for over my bed, I’d be forever grateful!