Mild retardation goes widely undiagnosed amongst moderately attractive people. #Bachelor

Get Glue needs to offer a “No matter what anyone else says, I’ll keep watching this season of #Bachelor” sticker

Settling down with the bride to watch stupid women cry over some bloke they don’t know #bachelor @chrisbharrison #qualityentertainment

#Bachelor I’m already more attracted to Park City than any actual person on this show

#bachelor – again, these chicks are so crazy, they make Coupon Suzy look like good marriage material

#bachelor = chicks getting drunk and saying nasty things about each other. In the real world it’s called “girls night”

This mountain air is doing wonders for Ben’s greasy hair. #boringben #bachelor

“I think Ben will be happy when I say something to him.” – Someone who’s about to make a big mistake. #Bachelor

Is “fashion sales rep” the same as “annoying girl who forcibly sprays you with cologne when you’re walking through Macy’s to get to the food court?” #Bachelor

When the highlight of the date is “that’s a beaver dam,” it’s time to see what arrived from Netflix  #bachelor”

Rachel and Ben are perfectly matched – they’re both more boring than dirt #bachelor

I deserve a rose for sitting through that lame date and not changing the channel #bachelor

I’m watching a cough syrup commercial that has more sexual energy than Rachel and Ben #bachelor

Barney Rubble would make a better #Bachelor then Ben

All I know is that if they don’t pick up the pace here, I’m switching to Alcatraz at 9. A show about prison would beat #thebachelor.

Seriously, this better get better or I’m changing to something with midgets or fat people sweating #bachelor

Blakeley: “When Ben came across the river on a horse, he looked soo handsome.” Or, like a guy who’d never ridden a horse before. #Bachelor

Courtney, you’re kind of a sneaky betch but I like you. #Bachelor

Courtney is bringing #winning back. #notreally #bachelor

Courtney makes Charlie Sheen look balanced and well spoken #winning #thebachelor

tip to real people: Don’t say “winning,’ unless you’re still telling people you’re “livin la vida loca” Then I guess it’s ok – #bachelor

Ben if youre gonna teach the girls how to fly fish… You might wanna learn to fly fish yourself.. #bachelor

I never thought I’d miss those dirt cheap dates on top building in LA in the middle of the night #bachelor

what are those fishing things called they’re all wearing – the things that are blocking all their knockers from camera? I don’t like them @bachelor

this date makes me want to go fishing – like right now – instead of watching the rest of this epiosde #Bachelor

Just when you thought Courtney couldn’t be less likable. Now she smells like a fish. #Bachelor

Well, Courtney did catch a fish. But when she realized it wasn’t 90 proof and couldn’t further her modeling career she threw it back #bachelor

Courtney is giving an accurate name to Courtneys everywhere #bachelor

COURTNEY IS A FUCKING NUT #bachelor

Courtney has a weird mouth #ew #yourabitch #bachelor

what is wrong with that girl’s lip on #bachelor?

Now I don’t feel alone. Courtney has giant pores too… They even show up on tv #Bachelornation #Bachelor #TheBachelor

This chick looks like a burn victim with fetal alcohol syndrome #thebachelor

proof that women should keep their mouths shut about what they want = Samantha #bachelor

Samantha permanently looked like she’d just eaten a lemon by mistake – no loss #bachelor

DUDE SAMANTHA IS WASTED!!! #Bachelornation #Bachelor #TheBachelor

Wow, these girls are hammered. Tread lightly, Ben. #boringben #bachelor

OMG!! Samantha came off wayy to fast and desperate and that blew up soo bad #Bachelor

I feel like i’ve never seen this Samantha person before…… #Bachelor

This episode blows – the only redeeming quality is I’m getting a GetGlue sticker for watching it – #bachelor

So if #bachelor Ben picks Courtney and then watches what a bitch she is on the show, can he say “TAP TAP… Redo?”

I would rather dive head 1st, fully clothed, than wear a bikini an crotch harness to repel into a cavern. #Bachelor #thebachelor

One can only hope “@BradFollmer: This is going to end up with one of them sawing their arm off. #thebachelor”

how true RT @D_Cizzle01: @Glennia the #bachelor is so boring, I can’t even think of anything funny to tweet this season

I never thought I’d miss week after week of drunk chicks hyperventilating in the hot tub #whattup #bachelor

Did they cast this season’s #Bachelor by testing how quickly each girls personality can put you to sleep #TheBachelor #boredtotears

They need to start limiting the girls drinks, u see the drunk face thru the night & then look so confused putting words together #bachelor

Blakely: Hair stylist. VIP waitress. Actress. Shes a modern day Thomas Jefferson. #Bachelor

Ben: “I want the woman to be independent, but needing me and wanting me.” So, not independent then? #Bachelor

Is it possible to get B. Womack back on for the second half of the season? #Bachelor

I feel like the Bachelor is like Survivor, no one watches the previous seasons but goes on it and makes the same dumb mistakes #bachelor

If I already had a rose, you’d be hard pressed to talk me out of wearing my pajamas to a rose ceremony. #Bachelor

the highlight of the night was the shot of the beaver dam – #bachelor