Bachelor Pad: August 8, 2011 – Your Top Tweets

#BachelorPad premieres tonight. These are the people you share this planet with.

Watching #bachelorpad – my MBA just burst into flames

Can’t believe I spent 3 hours of my night watching Bachelor Pad. I’m ashamed. Kind of. No I’m not, I lied. #bachelorpad

Three hours?  Really ABC?   – how long do you think I can masturbate for? –  #bachelorpad

Everyone on this show looks like a serial killer. #bachelorpad

#BachelorPad – you can look for love, or compete for $250,000. But you can’t do both

The #BachelorPad is a tutorial on how not to use the English language.

I hate that I know how to spell Pavelka. #bachelorpad

Chris says he’s glad Vienna is back. If you’re keeping score that’s 1 for Vienna. And 3 Million against. #bachelorpad

#bachelorpad I don’t know who Vienna is, but she looks like her face is made of Play-Doh and someone squeezed both sides

Kasey wants to make sure Vienna is “protected,” but the free clinic called and it’s already too late – #BachelorPad

Click through for the rest of the Top Tweets from tonight’s premiere episode.

Is this girl serious? She has a tiara on… #bachelorpad

Who exactly is this princess girl? She looks like someone needs to help her squeeze out the jelly. #bachelorpad

I wonder if the #BachelorPad producers wear full body condoms when they’re around the contestants, like Leslie Nielsen in The Naked Gun.

What is Holly wearing? #bachelorPad

Holly killed all her furbies and sewed them together to make a skirt! #bachelorpad

If Ames doesn’t show up soon and remove his shirt I am switching to The Devil Wears Prada. #BachelorPad

By virtue of not yet speaking, Ames is the classiest guy on the show

Ames looks like they shoot him thru a fun-house mirror #bachelorpad

#bachelorpad – I like Ames – he has a brain in his head… and apparently also a Cadillac

I’m thinking Vienna gets pregnant from the first challenge #bachelorpad

My cat is sitting too close to the screen and just caught a yeast infection

Kasey and Jake’s legs are BLUE. Can’t deal. #bachelorpad

#iloveyoumorethenpeanutbuttercookies #whothefucksaysthat ? #bachelorpad

i straight up don’t understand what kasey is saying. #bachelorpad

Vienna Girardi is quite possibly the most unlikeable person on tv, and I’m including Kate Gosselin! #BachelorPad

Who is this dude who escaped from Yo MTV Raps?

Justin is complaining about everybody avoiding him and not wanting to talk to him. Either he’s on #BachelorPad or it’s a Wednesday.

Hmmm… Maybe I like @jakepavelka1 #BachelorPad

Jake makes me wanna vomit! #BachelorPad

I’m assuming “Pavelka” is polish for “I just puked in my mouth.” #bachelorpad

I’m on Jake’s side cause he scares me less than Vienna. #bachelorpad

If he gives that rose to Vienna, I hope he rubs it on his ass real deep first. #bachelorpad

“Maybe give it to someone who doesn’t really matter!” No, Jackie you’re not allowed to give it to Chris Harrison – #bachelorpad

Gia – the unlikely voice of reason! Who knew? #bachelorpad

#BachelorPad – “How did the Trojans win the war?” Gia: “They showed up in an elephant.”

Ah yes the legendary “Trojan Elephant” #bachelorpad

Gia: “You never win without the queen” – Enter Ames – #bachelorpad

Did we just watch a baby get made on national TV? My retinas are burning. #BachelorPad

Kasey must be terrified of Vienna. I would be. *shudder* #bachelorpad

#BachelorPad new drinking game. Every time you hear #protectmygirlfriend, drink gasoline

#bachelorpad… Boredom makes you watch the weirdest things sometimes.

I was unaware a TV program could be on for 3 hours straight. #bachelorpad #goodlord

son of a gun. Justin’s out?! buddy i’m crying! oh wait, it’s because i just wasted 3 hours of my conscious life. #BachelorPad

Justin. Give it up dude. Hook up with Charlie Sheen and start a wrestling reality show. #Bachelorpad

Fun new idea for an ABC reality show – MAXI PAD – nine bachelorettes, one box of Kotex #bachelorpad

Next week’s challenge should be to see which one of these bobble-heads can watch PBS the longest. – #bachelorpad

Can’t believe I spent 3 hours of my night watching Bachelor Pad. I’m ashamed. Kind of. No I’m not, I lied. #bachelorpad

Vienna’s the personification of what happened to The Muppets after Jim Henson died #Muppets #BachelorPad

Screw the credit rating, the fact that 13-yr olds not only know who Jake is, but cry over him, is what will doom America. #bachelorpad

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Tags: ABC, Alli Travis, Ames Brown, Bachelor, Bachelor Pad, Bachelorette, Blake Julian, Chris Harrison, Ella Nolan, Erica Rose, Gia Allemand, Graham Bunn, Holly Durst, Jackie Gordon, Jake Pavelka, Justin "R-Rated" Rego, Kasey Kahl, Kirk Dewindt, Melissa Schreiber, Michael Stagliano, Michelle Money, Vienna Girardi, William “Will” Holman