Athens Food and Drink, Day Two, Part Two

Two things I will not soon forget about Athens, Georgia:

1.) The bats no one bothered to tell me about ahead of time.

2.) The downtown bars with great big wooden rocking chairs open to customers who enjoy a little soothing sway while they drink themselves half into the bag.


Harmless little creature of God, you say? No. This little bastard had a belt with my name on it, next to a waiting notch.

My first night in Athens, the Granberry clan happily trotted me out to the backyard (Fences? Forget about them! It’s woods as far back as the eye can see) and pointed to the “wavy leaves” at the tops of the trees, which of course I was stupid enough to believe were, in fact, “wavy leaves,” until they (with a little too much pleasure for my taste) revealed the awful, actual truth.

I tried – believe me – I tried to deny it, thinking denial would be enough to get me through the long weekend. But Beelzebub had other plans, and chose to send a wayward minion to a very well-lit spot right over the front doorway of the Granberry house as a reminder of why one should not mess with the state of Georgia.


Yes.  I had to dash past this dirty little Satanic turd to get safely into the fucking house!

Okay, as the vacation went on, I learned not to be totally petrified of bats. MG took me down to the lake just before twilight, when these little guys just wake up and start darting about after the plentiful mosquitos. And I have to admit… it was sort of cool and romantic to watch them flutter about and dive after their early evening breakfasts, just me and MG, even if I did still want to pee my pants just a little bit.

My independent bat research has uncovered a lot of fascinating details about these guys that I would love to share with you.  The reason I won’t is that as cool as bats might be, I still fucking hate them and never want to be this close to one ever again.

The Globe Bar at the corner of Clayton and Lumpkin Streets in downtown Athens is a whole other story.  Some bars are fun for a drink or two, and some bars are more of an evening’s final “destination.”  The Globe is definitely in the latter category.


Not that you necessarily should have too many bars that you consider a great place at which to get yourself blindingly drunk (and we didn’t). But if you happen to find yourself an hour outside of Atlanta in a major college town during the summer when it’s more or less abandoned, and you feel the need for a dozen or so beers, you couldn’t do much better than The Globe.

Comfy leather couches and rocking chairs settled up against giant windows allow you to take in a terrific view of downtown Athens and all the pub-crawling locals headed to their next drinking destination.


The shiny brass bar serves up 14 draft beers and over 100 bottled varieties. I went with a smooth, deep golden brown Warsteiner Lager that went down like candy.

MG and I agreed that if my time in Athens wasn’t so short, we would have loved to sit there together for hours, but the next morning (and the Waffle House) was calling my name, so we cut the evening short…

…just in time to get back home so I could scream like a Polly Prissy-Pants at the evil hairy-winged fart waiting for me at the front door.

Don’t judge me. I can bench press a lot.

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9 thoughts on “Athens Food and Drink, Day Two, Part Two

  1. Bats! They know how to break up a party too. One flew out of our fireplace chimney once while we were entertaining. Our company went screaming into the night. Athens sounds like a far cry from LA.

  2. Wow. I have been living in Athens and working downtown for eight years and have never seen a bat. Blech.

  3. I am glad you had fun there, but I have to say BATS they are the cutest things ever. Look at his little face.

  4. I agree with Sean…Bats are adorable! I’ve never seen a wild one so close…was really cool he came down to personally welcome you to town 🙂 ….

  5. Hmm I think THAT is what the bars in NY need. Rocking chairs. I would be okay getting blindingly drunk at a place with rocking chairs.

    I don’t know how you dealt with the bats. I would have been peeing my pants left and right.

  6. @Penny – reminds me of that scene from The Birds where all the sparrows come down the chimney. How did you get it out?

    @Townie – they are there. Look up at dusk.

    @Sean – you would feel that way

    @MG – I think you knew before I came out there not to tell me about them so you could see the pitiful look of fear on my face

    @Joanne – Rocking chairs make any alcohol in any venue more enjoyable. I have a family rocker coming from my parents soon. I have no room for it but there’s no way in hell I’m turning it down.

  7. You need to visit Austin, Texas in August. There is a colony of Mexican free-tailed bats that live under the Congress Ave. bridge. At sundown, at the height of their population, one and a half million (that’s 1,500,000) of them come out to eat and catch food for the youngins. It is truly a sight to behold. From under the bridge, I highly recommend an umbrella. From the top of the bridge, don’t lean out to far or you risk getting a mouthful of bat, which will give you and Ozzy Osbourne a great deal to talk about.

  8. Bats, like other creatures of the night, (spiders, centipedes) are best appreciated at a distance – outside of one’s abode. The lake sounds an excellent place!

    They have no business hanging about doorways – or in bathrooms, bedrooms….

    I also am not crazy about the lizards that sleep on my windows and fall on my head when I open said window….

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